[relationshipa1]

Dear April,

I simply love your advice. We women so need someone to tell it to us like it is. I appreciate that a lot. Now for my question. I am 47 and could calm down about finding a guy if I didn’t think the clock is ticking – I feel like I have to have my youth and beauty to get someone. I probably dated too soon after my husband of 10 years left me for a 18 year old (he was 53). I did it because I thought if I am to find someone I gotta get out there.

I still attract men without a problem. But I am learning in my forties what to and not to do. To find a good guy. I have purchased your book. So tell me the truth like I know you will. Is is true that as we get older it gets harder. I hear from women that this is true. My mother stopped dating at about my age. I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. But I also want to be realistic.

I am struck by how men my age often want women younger. I am not interested in younger men. I want someone my age. What say you?

Thanks

Marie

[April Masini]

Thank you for buying my book! I’m glad you like it. I always like to hear from readers who’ve purchased one of my books how it helped them. 🙂

I don’t think you have to worry about getting older and finding a great man. The only thing you can’t do as you get older, as a woman, is to have babies. But other than that, I really believe from what I see that if you want romance, sex, companionship, intimacy and fun — alone or together or in any combination you can think of — it’s not really that hard to find. But like anything else in life, to do it well, you have to strategize and do the work.

So if you’re a 47 year old woman, immediately, you can rule out any men of any age who want more children. So rule out the group of guys who want biological children with their wives.

After that, you can hone in on divorced men who aren’t looking for younger women. Believe me — there are loads of men who would like a 47 year old woman, all other things being equal. In fact, to a guy in his 60s, or even his late 50s, you’re the babe at 47. While all a 62 year old man’s friends may have wives in their late 50s and early 60s, you’d be the young one in that group.

Then there are cougars, or women like you who prefer younger men. Plenty of younger men go for women of your age. All you have to do is look at Demi Moore and her much younger husband Ashton Kutcher, or Hulk Hogan’s ex-wife and her much younger boyfriend — and that’s just on television.

I always think the easiest way to find someone compatible, though, is to hook up with a guy who has “matching luggage” since by the age of 30 everyone has some baggage, and the trick is to find compatible baggage (i.e. matching luggage 😉 ). Your compatible guy might be someone who’s ex-wife left him for a much younger man! Maybe you both have children, or are empty nesters, or never had kids. Whatever the similarities are, your job is to find them.

Plenty of senior citizens are enjoying extremely active dating and sex lives – and you only have to look to the pharmaceutical industry to know it’s true! So just because your ex-husband left you for an 18 year old, and just because your mother stopped dating when she was 47, that doesn’t mean you have to be victimized or influenced by those facts. You get to write your story and be the star of your own show.

So, decide what you want in life, and go for it! The only reason to be scared is that you’d miss an opportunity by sitting home and worrying about what [i]could[/i] be.

[Author]

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