Has he fallen out of love?

[relationshipa1]

I have been with my bf for almost 2 years and living together for 1 year now. Things were great in the beginning and he was the first one to bring up marriage and starting a family. About 6 months into the relationship, things changed dramatically and he decided he needed space, so I gave it to him. We still spoke but didn’t see eachother as much, and after 2 months, he “realized” he loves me and can’t live without me so we worked things out. He’s a deputy and decided to move to another town for his job, so we moved together. Things continued going well and he even took me to a jewelry store and had me [u]pick out an engagement ring[/u] (this was 5 months ago). Well, we only lived in that town for a few months because we both hated the town and our jobs there.

So we moved 2 months ago somewhere else to be closer to his family, and ever since then, he has COMPLETELY changed! He barely talks to me (even though we’re living together!) and hangs out with his friends or family all the time and doesn’t usually invite me. When I ask him if he wants to go somewhere with me, he shrugs his shoulders but then if his friends ask him, he goes with them. He barely tells me he loves me anymore and about 3 weeks ago, he told me he isn’t sure if we have anything in common or if things will work for us. Then like 3 days after that, his exact words were (and I quote) “well lets give things a try and see how they go, but I really don’t think it will work.” What gives?!?!?!

I’ve spoken to him about this and he says he doesn’t know why this is happening. He swears he’s not cheating (and I honestly don’t think he is) and that he’s just now realizing we aren’t right for eachother. I’m confused because we are great for eachother and we actually do have a lot in common. Help!!!! Should I hang around or just realize he’s too wishy washy?

[Anonymous]

I’m kind of going through the same thing with my boyfriend, except he hasnt told me that he doesnt really think this will work…

I cant really give ya advice since Im here kind of seeking the same thing..

Has your situation improved?

[April Masini]

If he’s point blank telling you he doesn’t think this is going to work after you’ve lived together for a year and dated for two years, I think you need to pay attention to him. Whether or not he’s fallen out of love, he’s not acting like part of a couple, and he’s telling you he thinks it’s over.

This is your cue to realize you deserve someone who REALLY REALLY wants to be with you — and get out of this dead end relationship before you waste any more time on Mr. Wrong. Get my book, Think & Date Like A Man, at this link: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], and read it! You’ll learn how to find, get and keep Mr. Right — because this guy is all but taking a neon sign advertising the fact that he’s not that man.

I’m sorry that this is rotten, but it’s much better to cut your losses and move on with your life.

I hope you’ll join me on AskApril.com on Facebook at this link: [url]http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=110265355684755&ref=ts[/url]! 🙂

[katdawg]

if he couldn’t live without you why didn’t he put a ring on that finger, instead you became a shack up honey. why live with someone without an engagement ring and a date? i’ve been dating a guy for three years now and i still have no clue where were stand. of course i came to april for advice and she told me to move on. it is easier for me to move on because i am not living with him. we have a lot of history but that’s all there is..history. i don’t hear very much about the future and although it saddens me i am grateful i am not going to have to deal with the dramatic “packing”, moving stuff that goes along with shacking up with someone. i did that in my 20’s and it was horrible. i would suggest moving out and not live with a man unless he’s committed to a future with you first and foremost (otherwise he’d be getting the milk for free). do you want to be at the same place i am now? three years later and in the same position? life is precious and so is our time. :O) like april’s book says – a man who wants to be your boyfriend/husband will ACT like your boyfriend/husband. from what i am reading it doesn’t seem like he wants to be.

[April Masini]

Thanks for the thumbs up, [b]katdawg[/b]. 😀 I think that [b]Soma[/b] would really get a lot out of reading Think & Date Like a Man, [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. I hope she does.

As you well know it’s easy to fall into a relationship without thinking twice that it may not end the way it starts, but all too often women don’t date smart and end up hurt and invested in a multi-year and moved in relationship that crumbles.

I think that if every woman read Think & Date Like A Man, they’d be much better armed against heartbreak.

[Anonymous]

im going through the exact same things except we have two young children together. He tells me one day he loves me then the next that he hates me and is leaving me in a state I moved 1300 miles to be closer to his family for. So I probably need to take my own advice–but as the other people put it you are just shacking up and if he was serious about you –you would know it by now

[April Masini]

[b]essence[/b] has a good point — but having two children together makes things very different. It really sounds, [b]essence[/b], like your man has a psychological or physiological problem because he goes back and forth day to day. Maybe you can encourage him to get some help starting with his medical doctor. A full physical and blood work up may reveal some kind of chemical imbalance or need for a referral that a doctor can help him with — if he’s willing to go and be honest.

Join me on Facebook — you have good input and I’d love to have it here and there. Here’s the link: [url]http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=110265355684755&ref=mf[/url].

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