Have a gf but falling for another girl

[relationshipa1]

im 20 and i have been dating my current girlfriend for 7months now, i love her to death, i can really picture the rest of my life with her, she has help me in so many ways she has been nothing short of perfect, we’ve had our ups and downs but we always manage to work through them together and in the end the one thing that doesn’t change is the fact that we love each other, i have had many many girlfriends in the past and i have not once ever been tempted to cheat in a relationship i can honest to god say that. I’m really a good guy i love every moment im with her i cant stand to see her hurt, recently at a party a friend introduced me to one of his friends who was a girl immediately i could feel something at first i thought it was just a physical attraction because she is smoking HOT, but the more we hung out around each other i just kept getting this vibe off her our eyes would meet every once in awhile at a party and it would blow my mind for some reason, keep in mind my feelings for my girlfriend have not changed and i have never imagined being in this position and its absolutely killing me. One night i was partying in my apartment complex and she was next door i was over there aswell but my girlfriend was out of town, there was alot of people pregaming before going to the club by the time we got to the club everyone was drunk somehow on the dance floor me and this girl danced together the whole time she was pulling on my belt buckle and partially sticking her hands down my pants, and when she went to walk off she grabbed me by my hands, i know that this was wrong but at the moment it felt good, i feel different around her like i get butterflies and nervous, well later on that night when we returned to the apartment, our friend had no ice in his freezer so she asked me if she could get ice from my apartment i said yes of course, she followed me to my apt where we just started making out for like 15 minutes it was intense! i had no thoughts of guilt or wrong doing at the moment, i was in a different world and it felt good, the next morning neither she or i had any regrets and we put an end to it immediately, that entire week i felt absolutely horrible for doing that behind my girlfriends back i could not stop thinking about how horrible i am, i know that if i tell her shell leave me for good that’s for sure, but i cannot live without her or stand her being emotionally hurt like that, all of her previous boyfriends were absolutely horrible and put her through a lot of unnecessary stress. the next weekend we went to my neighbors apt to party i was with my girlfriend and the other girl was there i dont know what it is but i swear im not doing it purposely i try to fight it but i just get a tingling feeling when i see this other girl, the color of her eyes, her smile, the way her hair is, the sound of her voice and her attitude drive me crazy and im not even meaning to focus on her, but then its the same for my girlfriend, my girlfriend is absolutely gorgeous! her beauty blows me away everyday everything about my girlfriend is flawless i couldnt see myself with anyone else, and when im with her i dont htink of anyone else or even look at other girls but theres just something i dont know what it is between me and this other girl and it wasnt something from the past it was completely random! so me and this girl have been talking and she leaves for california for the entire summer this sunday when we were texting i was drunk, she was texting me she was like you better not forget about me!, i replied your not that kind of girl that can be forgotten that easily, and she replied =) and your kisses are something i can easily forget, i replied i hope i can get one more kiss before you leave!, and she replied im sure we can manage to sneak one in tomorrow night. so tomorrow night came, it was me and this girl and a bunch of buddies, i found myself outside most of the time talking to this girl. during the party whenever we could steal sometime alone we would make out, before i knew it everyone in the house had left or passed out and we were outside alone and thats when the conversation got deeper, we talked about how what we were doing was wrong(she was crying) and that she felt horrible but that she just couldnt help it she just felt different around me she said she felt good and that she just got a vibe off me, the way she felt is exactly how i feel!given the circumstances she was happy and not regretful, she also mentioned how sometimes she wished i was only hers so it would be ok to be with each other in public and not behind all of our friends backs, no one knows about this but she and i and im really surprised she has kept quiet. she knows that we can never be together because she knows i love my girlfriend to death, and she doesnt want to hurt her or me and i dont want to hurt either of them either! everyone was asleep and she hopped right on top of me and we started kissing and touching she pulled my pants down and went down on me, when all the fun was over we went to sleep and we snuggled the entire night, when i woke up half of me was disgusted and the other half wanted to stay there sleeping with her, i left soon as i was awake still drunk i drove home, later we were texting each other she texted me saying, i hope i didnt say or do anything that made you uncomfortable, i replied no im fine i hope you werent uncomfortable with anything, she replied no, actually i was really comfortable. shes starting life in cali, and i have a life with my girlfriend even under these circumstances our attraction still grows? why is that? and why do i feel the way i do, i feel completely awful because my girlfriend is amazing! but whenever i get near this girl i lose that inner voice that ells me this is wrong and i do it anyways, please help me what explains this behavior? why did this happen and what should i do!

thank you,

HeartFor2

[Anonymous]

i started reading these posts because i’m having trust issues and yours struck me as the point of view my own boyf must be having. but to focus on your issue, it speaks volumes to your merit that you’re concerned about hurting your girlf. you are not a bad person. now let me get straight to the point.
i won’t advise you on what to do. i will only give you a very real prediction. you and your girlf will not work out in the end. you are only 20 and this is only the first time you’ve confronted this situation. this is all part of the learning curve. you will realize that you have to be fair to your amazing girlfriend And to yourself. by the time your my age (28), you’ll realize how these situations develop and how to avoid them. by the time you’ve got your long-term amazing person figured out, you’ll realize that these situations are Always circulating….and that there’s a reason monogomous married people don’t hang with the opposite sex Alone.
monogomy is difficult, so to make it work, you have to let MANY opposite sex friendships fizzle out. no one gets Everything in life. you will always have to compromise. alternatively, you could choose to be different, be monogomous AND be able to sustain opposite sex friendships that don’t infrindge on the quality of your relationship….(sounds great?)….but these are the people who usually find out that, although they’ve been entirely trustworthy, Your partner ends up having the emotional, or sexual, affair.
it’s tough! but keep your integrity and honesty a top priortity and you won’t have any regrets. and that’s all you can really hope for…no regrets.

[April Masini]

You’re only 20 years old, and clearly, you’re not ready for a monogamous relationship. In life we are all tempted by attractions and lust, but that doesn’t mean we act on those feelings because we choose to honor a relationship or a family above feelings. Children have a hard time not doing what they want because it’s not socially acceptable and they hate the word “No,” when they’re toddlers, and have tantrums abiding by it. You don’t have to abide by “No” because you’re not married — you’re just dating. And the reason you’re not married and are just dating is because you’re figuring out what works for you in your own life. When you are ready to be married you won’t want to cheat. Right now, you’re trying to have your cake and eat it too, but it won’t work forever, as [b] i’m the girlfriend[/b] pointed out in her post.

The best thing for you to do is to tell your girlfriend of seven months that you want to open up your relationship and date other people as well as each other. I doubt she’ll go for it — for long if at all — but it’s the honest thing to do. You can tell her how much you love and respect her, but that you are just not ready for a monogamous relationship and to lie to her about this would be disrespectful.

It’s okay to want to date other people, but cheating is going to hurt this woman you love and care about. And remember — love isn’t enough to sustain a relationship. You have to want to be in a monogamous relationship and be ready for one. In the meantime, you can love lots of people — just don’t lie to them about who you are. Let them have the choice to be in your life or not.

I hope that helps. I know it may come in as harsh reality, but I trust you’ll sort it out and make a decision that works for you. 🙂

[heart4two]

The thing is i am ready to commit this is who i want to be with for the rest of my life, i dont want to date this other girl but for some reason she drives me crazy i just want to be intimate

[christopher]

I think first you need to decide that you actually want to stick with your current girlfriend or want to go with new one.You said that you don’t want to cheat your current girls friend but when you are getting chance to do something with other girls you just run with thing more so don’t you thing ? it is also cheating.I believe that if you had some relation in past that is ok but now after having such good relation,if you are looking for other one that not good.

[April Masini]

You may say that you’re ready to spend the rest of your life with your girlfriend, after dating her for 7 months, at age 20, but the fact that you’re making out with someone else belies what you say. 😳 You’re clearly attracted to this other woman, and you’re not a victim in that relationship. You can choose your behavior with both women. That you’ve chosen to make out with and flirt with this other woman and then tell me you want to commit to your girlfriend for life doesn’t really add up, and I know you know this, too! 😆

Making out with another woman is a sure sign you’re not ready for a lifetime commitment with your girlfriend. Reconsider my advice as well as the good advice you got here from [b]i’m the girlfriend[/b] and [b]saintsaxy[/b] and [b]christopher[/b].

And check out my new AskApril.com group on Facebook at this link: [url]http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=110265355684755&ref=mf[/url].

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