[Anreyes]

I I’ve been with my bf for a little more then a year. I’ve told him I loved him 6 months into the relationship and he said ” I could love him if I want.” He said he cares a lot about me and he doesn’t want to say he loves me if he doesn’t and end up hurting me. That in time he thinks he can get to that place but so many people have let him down within relationships and family so it’s hard for him to allow himself to get to that place. I told him I just don’t want waste my time if you can’t get to that place to where he can say it. It’s not so much of him saying I love it for me it’s the meaning behind it. Now that it’s been 7 months later I don’t know how to talk to him about it or even bring it up because I dont want to get shot down again. It’s just like I said I do t want to waste my time. And I feel like you should know if you love someone within a year and 4 months I just don’t know how to talk to him about it.

[April Masini]

How old are you both?

[Anreyes]

21

[April Masini]

Got it. So, if you’re committed to the idea of being with someone who knows that they love you in a certain time period, and he doesn’t, then you should move on. Staying, like this, is just torturing yourself and him. 😕 However…. if you want to stay with him then you should stop pressuring him to have feelings that may or may not come in time. Not everybody gets to the same place, emotionally — or if they do, at the same time. It sounds like you have a clear idea of your expectations, and he’s not meeting them. That’s disappointing, but you have choices. You can either move on and look for someone who is more compatible, or stay and nurture the relationship, or stay and pressure him, which will lead to a break up without a lot of grace.

I hope that helps. 🙂

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