Help!

[relationshipa1]

Long story short, she got fall down drunk and in her words “f*cked up”. We have spoken once since and she will not even acknowledge me.

Last thing she said was that she did not want to lose me but that she could not take seeing the hurt in my eyes knowing she caused it. Since the day it happened, she has shut down completely and has not even spoken to friends.

We are both adults. I am in my 30’s she is a little younger. When I say drunk, I am saying fall down, blackout drunk not able to speak loaded. Not an exaggeration. Just how it is.

For me, I am not a forgiving person. Hell, I have walked away from girls for small things that pissed me off. Never have been but in this instance and only this instance, I am not mad and had forgiven her just by the look on her face. She did not hide from it and did not lie about it. If she had even deflected a little, I would have walked away and never looked back for a second. And like I said, I don’t understand why she would shut everyone out of her life including her family of which they are very close. Just looking for some insight as to what is going through her mind and why she has been able to walk away so easily. The total absence of closure and knowing that she is hurting is making it so hard for me me to walk away and move on.
WTF???

Personally, I have never been in this position which also contributes to my confusion.

[April Masini]

Is she your girlfriend? Wife? Someone else?

How long have you been together?

[Anonymous]

Been together a while. less than a year. Not married.

The days before, she was wildly attracted and had never been so into someone before as she said.

[April Masini]

Were you together for 3 months? 2 months?

Does she have a history of drinking and getting this drunk?

[Anonymous]

Goes back to last spring. one of those from out of nowhere suddenly this person is in front of you and then neither of you can breath. Honestly, strongest instant feeling ever for me.

Yeah, bit of a drinking history but not to this extent. What happened was she went overboard early and I did not take her home when I saw her before she went out. Was a mess. Ended up running into her ex who does not live here and then drank harder the more angry she go that she was there. The rest is obvious. Until she spent 3 days crying until I just went to the house and got her. Have not seen her since as she said she could not handle the hurt in me and knowing that she caused it.

[Anonymous]

My goal is to figure out what she is thinking so I can move on with my life whether she is in it or not.

As it stands, it appears that I am very easy to forget.

[April Masini]

[quote]My goal is to figure out what she is thinking so I can move on with my life whether she is in it or not.[/quote]

You’re never going to be able to know what she’s [i]thinking[/i]. In fact, my advice is to go by her behavior, not what you think she’s thinking — it’s a lot more accurate that way. 😉

It’s hard to believe that she drank so hard she blacked out — [i]once[/i]. Lots of people drink too much, but blacking out is a big deal and a sign of some deeper problem. Her subsequent behavior — shutting you out completely after the two of you have been dating for about six or seven months doesn’t bode well for a future together. Problems occur in relationships — count on that one. How couples deal with the problems is the reason they stay together or split up.

I’m very sorry for you that she’s shut you out like this so suddenly after six months and you can’t seem to get a response, which you definitely deserve. I know it’s hard because you didn’t have a fight and you didn’t cheat and she didn’t cheat and nobody abused the other person — but break ups happen for all kinds of reasons and her inability to communicate at all with you after a dramatic event where she was drinking so hard is really a sign for you that after a week or two of her silence, you should really move on. 😳

Thank you for clarifying — and I hope this helps.

Let me know if you have any more questions.

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url]http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1154528031[/url].

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