Help me out to bring her back

[Helpmeouttoday]

Hi Everybody,
This is all about the girl I met 10 yrs ago…for me it was like this is the girl i want to be with for life. she too was quiet impressed by me. she even asked about my interest then…back then 10 yrs ago I thought its too early for both us to think that way ..mind you..she is 5 yrs younger to me..and thought that age difference is too much..as years went bye..i did thought about her…in fact since we were in different places I never met her..but we were still in touch..but after that day i never asked her any personal questions..she did tell me about one of her relationship once but later i realised that was over..bcoz she suddenly never told about him after that..now i want her back..but she behaves bit abruptly she would cut off our conversations on phone but she does calls me on my birhday / in between just for chat..i believe i shd start talking with her fresh but if she behaves this way how can i do that..i dont know why is tht whether its bcoz of the breakup she had she is avoiding other relationship or she doesnt really want me anymore..help me out

[Anonymous]

this same type of thing happened to me last year 🙁

[April Masini]

Fill me in a little: How old are you? How old is she? Where did you meet her? Where do you both live? Have you EVER met her in person?

[Helpmeouttoday]

I am 28… she would be 23…met her on excursion were almost together for 10-15 days then…presently live in 2 diff cities about 5-6 hrs drive…last i met her in person was 7 yrs back…how do I go about ?

[April Masini]

Thank you for the extra information. It helps a lot!

Here’s the reality check: Ten years ago, you met a 13 year old girl with whom you spent two weeks — you still didn’t tell me if you dated her or not– but even if you did…. SHE WAS 13 years old!! 😯 Then you met her again three years later when she was 16. And now that you’re 28, ten years later, you’re convinced this is the girl you want to spend your life with. 😕 And she lives 5 to 6 hours drive time away. 😮 And she cuts off your conversations on the phone and you’ve never asked her any personal questions.

Do you see where this is going?

I think there’s something missing in your own life that is allowing you to foster a fantasy about a young woman who is unavailable. I mean, even if you did ask her out on a date and she accepted — how are you going to date her if you live so far away? Long distance relationships can work, but there has to be commitment from both people and it doesn’t sound like she’s all that interested. Calling you once a year on your birthday is probably her youthful idea of good manners. She doesn’t have as much experience as you do in dating.

All that said, the very first step for you, if in spite of everything I’ve written, you’re still interested in her, is to call her up and ask her out on a date, then drive to her, pick her up, take her out to dinner, see if there is mutual interest, bring her home, and drive the five to six hours back to your house. Several times a month.

It doesn’t seem like a good idea, and my advice is really to start finding women in your own area code or zip code who you’d like to date. I don’t think you know her well enough to pursue the kind of relationship you want, and I don’t think, from what you’ve described, that she’s all that interested. But prove me wrong and ask her out on a date! 😉 If she says yes, and you’re up for the driving grind, go for it!

Let me know what you decide and how things play out. I’m here if you need me. 😀

[Helpmeouttoday]

Hi …sorry for that reply …wasnt any position to get my mails
Yes you may be right ….I had exact same thoughts about 2 yrs ago ….tht was when ….
I had actually given up talking with her for almost 6 odd months or more…dont remember …..
I had changed my mobile no for some other reason…purely for technical reasons ….and had not shared
my no with her….then she pings me online after that time …gives her mobile no again takes my new no…
again I start talking with her…. again we reach the same state where I have started thinking of stopping it
The only question I have is if she really not interested she had all the more reason to avoid me then … i didnt pinged her …i never ask her for her no…
Now I am out of home country for 4-5 months for work..so driving down may not be option for me now
But frankly speaking….i know i like her …and i would again be reaching same state later…
I did not mention about this part before bcoz in period of 10 yrs this patch was small…

Please advice

[April Masini]

The advice I gave you last, in July, is the same as I’d give you now. Maybe if you re-read it, you’ll remember why this isn’t a good idea. 😉

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url]http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001113133958[/url].

[Helpmeouttoday]

Thanks April…
Yes…I guess you are right…
I should looked around me more rather than thinking this girl…
Actually been chatting with girl back in my home country….in fact I know her maybe during same time…she is also of my age….She had been around with me …. but never thought about it ….
We have now been talking almost daily….If we do miss day or two …we hope 2 catch the nxt day…
We dont talk nything really intimate …it is genral talk…
Is it rational to find someone so fast … am i really heading into relationship…
If not i dont want to move in ..bcoz she is really a nice frnd of mine and I dont want to hurt by talking abut it to her …how should I move on or should I let things move as there presently
Frankly speaking I am enjoying whatever it is but I dont what to hurt her fillings if she has started thinking abut it
She is very shy by nature and I am sure she would never ask me directly …what signs from her should I expect if she is thinking about it
…. Please guide me …

[April Masini]

The best thing you can do is to ask a woman you’re interested out on a [i]date[/i]. The internet is a great tool — but it’s not a great place to conduct the entire relationship, or even the majority of it. Get to know this woman in person. You’ll see cues from her in person that you won’t have to guess about on the internet or on the phone.

Let me know how it goes, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url]http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001113133958[/url].

[Helpmeouttoday]

Hi….
I am in real big mess now …
Had started trying to know this girl (from my hometown) as mentioned above …and i was happy with progress….
Had stopped all my interactions with the first one stying away from my home town…
But now she has started pinging me again/sending me offline msgs asking for my whereabouts ….asking some stupid questions just to get some response from me…i can understand that from those questions as anybody could have given out those ans there is no pt asking me such ques….then when i m online asking my plans about marriage when do i plan…..why ?all of sudden..do you see this nomal

Help me ….

[April Masini]

You mentioned that you’re in a big mess, but I don’t understand what the mess is. ❓ ❓ I’m also not sure what you need help with.

You are in charge of your life, and you get to ask women you want to date, out on dates! Just because someone is interested in you doesn’t mean you have to be interested back or even respond. Make sure that you don’t become a “defensive dater” — one who doesn’t have a plan or a goal, but just responds to other people.

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url]http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001113133958[/url].

[josy]

My boyfriend and i recently broke up because he did not want a relationship anymore, not the worry or commitment that comes with it. He also said how he was recently unhappy and no longer cared about much. In my opinion, i think he’s slightly depressed. Anyways, he still loves me and still has feelings for me. As well as i do for him. We wanted to stay friends because we both still cared about each other and liked each other and wanted each other in our lives. However now we’re fwb. I’m wondering if this is a bad idea? we both still feel things for each other, and want each other in our lives, but it seems impossible to be only friends. There’s a possibility that we may end up getting back together much later, however that’s not set in stone.

[madisonnicole10]

I need help with a guy I like. We have been talking for a bit but I have made many bad mistakes this summer. Here is the run down; I broke up with my boyfriend and then the next day I slept with someone. AN EXTREMELY STUPID MISTAKE. Everyone found out and he accused me of cheating and my reputation was ruined. Just to add to the mix there have been times at parties where I may have drank a little too much and slept with a few guys. I have changed, I realized that behavior is NOT acceptable and I am working on bettering myself. I would like to explain to him that I have DEFINITELY changed and I want him to learn to get to know me without him listening to what others have said. What should I write in my letter? I would like it to e long and meaningful but I don’t even know where to start. I basically want to tell him that I want him to get to know me and not listen to others but I don’t knowwww. Please help

[Michieh087]

I have known this guy friend for 2 years now. We graduated from the same program and got hired by the same company. Therefore, we both decided to moved in a two bedrooms apt and be roomies.
Things he would do for/to me: but I’m not sure he’s doing this cause he’s my friend or he likes me. I’m have a strong feeling that he likes me. But since I have a crush on him, I think my feelings are clouded with imagination of him liking me back. Please help here:
-he calls me his best friend
-he always cook and asked me what to eat
-we always hang out together
-he would flirts with me sometimes- lightly touch my back, hands, and thighs
-he has invited me to go with him to his sister’s wedding next month.

However, this weekend, he had a friend, who is a girl, visited him for 2 days and a night. He introduced me to her and that was about it. I went to my room to study for my board. They stayed and talked in their room for a while and went out for a swim. Came back and HAD SEX in his room. Went out again and came back at night to have more sex.

So now I don’t know anymore. I know that we are not in a relationship whatsoever. But I feel like he has no respect for me if he likes me (or he doesn’t like me and doesn’t really care about my feelings).

I’m just so confused and sad now. Knowing that my crush roomie is hooking up with someone when I’m present.

[Kammio]

I boy was rumored to like me, and someone came up to me telling me he really did. Surprisingly I liked him back, possibly not the way he liked me though. During the period I knew he liked me, my feelings for him weren’t as strong as I thought. He and I didn’t talk as much, but it was because I was awkward and I didn’t want to be the wrong type of person to his mom (a teacher) somehow my mom found out that I liked him and told me I was too young to love someone, and I can’t like him. Not until I finish college. I respect my mom and I dislike disobeying, so I did I fact, tell him. He stopped talking to me after that day. 6 months flew by and my parents told me I was moving. I tried my best to try to talk to him but every time he looked busy. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. My family packs fast because we often move a lot and soon enough, we left. I had his contact but he stopped using that account I guess. I searched him up on the Internet as a joke but I found his Twitter like the stalker I am. I looked through his account but he doesn’t seem sad, just if I never existed. What should I do. It’s been 2 years but I can’t get him out of my mind.

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