Help please

[Suede96]

I’ve been married for three years and I’m at the point where I’m questioning why did I get married? Don’t get it wrong I do love my wife but I’m tired of going through the same things. Now, two years ago I did get caught texting other women but I NEVER did anything with those women or any other women. To assure her that it was a onetime thing; I changed my number, told them that we can’t text anymore because I won’t my marriage to work, and haven’t talked to them since. But I’m tired of everytime something happens, she always bringing it back up. I know that I hurt her and she has every right to feel that way but if she want this to marriage to work out, this is something we (she) will have to get past. And every time she has ok but she always does the same thing. There isn’t any affection, love, or caring in our marriage. I show her affection, love, and care but I get nothing in return. She doesn’t even talk to me but she’ll rather text me. Even when we are in the same house and room! I’m tired of running into the same wall. Can someone PLEASE help me????? Because I don’t want to lose my wife.

[specialgirl]

so easy to lose trust and oh so difficult to earn it back..time for a serious discussion with her..does she even want to be in the rel? what does she need you to do to make her feel safe again? doesnt sound like shes too interested but thats what you need to find out

[Suede96]

I feel that she doesn’t want to. Because every issue we have, she blows it up and make it my fault. Now i do take ownership with my part but she doesn’t. We barely talk to each other anymore. I’ve done everything she’s asked me to do to gain her trust back but i feel that there’s nothing i do is right. All i can do is pray about it.

[April Masini]

I love[b] specialgirl’s[/b] advice on this site. 🙂

It sounds like the problem began when you were caught texting other women. This was a kind of betrayal of her trust and although you’ve apologized and admitted your wrongdoing, getting past betrayal is difficult. Some couples can do it and come out even stronger than before. Others can’t and their relationships stagnate or fail.

Since it’s been two years post texting incident, it is time to sit down with her and discuss the future of your marriage. You have to be very frank and ask her if there is a way she can get past the incident, and if so, what you can do to help her. Be honest with her that the marriage is only going to work for you if there is intimacy (and I don’t mean just sex — I mean honesty, sharing and companionship) between the two of you and if she thinks that this is something that can happen.

You’re going to then have to decide whether to stay or to go. Clearly, you can’t stay if things remain this way or get worse, and while you don’t have any children, my guess is that eventually she’ll want them if you stay and that will complicate things if you haven’t worked through this problem.

Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url]http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1154528031[/url].

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