[Forevergirl]

I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple months and everything has been going great. I’ve met his family and his friends, and have even attended a few family events. We constantly make plans for events that are in the future which makes me think that he sees this lasting for awhile. We have had open conversations about my past insecurities and how we plan on taking this one day at a time. Yet recently I have noticed that he doesn’t communicate as often as he used to during the week. When we first started seeing each other we texted back and forth at least once a day during the week when we weren’t seeing each other, but recently we barely text. Each time I want to bring it up when we see each other, everything ends up going great and he doesn’t seem distant at all so I don’t bother addressing it, thinking that I am just overthinking it. I am so confused as to why during the week it is practically radio silent yet when we do see each other he is hardly distant and we have a great time together. I like to communicate honestly and often so for me it bothers me that we barely talk when we aren’t around each other, when before we talked every day. I could understand it a little better if he was also distant with me in person but it’s the complete opposite. I want to talk to him about it but in past relationships when I have tried to have an open and honest conversation about an issue it has backfired on me in a negative way and the guy can’t deal. I’m not exactly sure what to do with this situation.

[April Masini]

It sounds like things are going really well, except that the texting when you’re not together, has waned. Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill! If all else is going well, focus on what’s good, and don’t complain what’s not a big deal. Second, change the way you communicate with him by text. If you used to text to just report in during the day, or connect by sharing what was going on when you were apart, use texting differently. Ask him pertinent questions, send images, flirt with him — change it up so it’s more interesting. He may simply have gotten bored with the way you were doing things and by switching them up, you may regain his interest over text. 😉

[Forevergirl]

Thank you for your advice 🙂 I did have an open conversation with him about the distance I have been feeling and he did apologize for it but has a very good reason. He’s Dad is very ill and he has been struggling with the stress of the situation, which now has made the whole distance part make complete sense. He admitted that he is scared of adding more to his stress, so as a response he has been becoming more distant with me even though he does want to keep seeing each other and spend time together. He is still a little distant so I’m trying to give him his space so I don’t add to everything he has going on and is dealing with. I’m just trying to figure out how I can bring some ease into his life and how I can be there for him in the best way for this kind of situation. Any suggestions?

[April Masini]

Since he’s mentioned some specific stress in his life, why not supply some nurturance? In other words, send him some homemade cookies. Call to ask how his father is doing. Send flowers to his dad. Bring support to his life and he may see you as an asset, not just someone who he doesn’t have time for in all his business. 🙂

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