Since you admit that you are not in a committed relationship with your boyfriend of three years, you have to understand that the extent of a [b]lack[/b] of commitment he feels towards you is a lot greater than the commitment you feel for him. I’m sorry that you’re disappointed that he doesn’t want your support right now, and doesn’t even want to return your calls or texts, but since he is the one who is suffering his needs come first. Or at least, they should. He is taking care of himself, and for him, that doesn’t mean including you in any way.
The reason he says that you are selfish is because he feels that you are putting your need to connect with him ahead of his need to not be with you, and to grieve his ex-wife, and decide how he’s going to be the single parent to his twin children, now that she is gone. He is also having to help his children grieve their mother.
While you’re disappointed and hurt by this rejection, I advise you to open your eyes, and realize that this is actually a gift to you. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but if your needs include being part of your boyfriend’s family and not being shut out of his family issues or even his deepest personal issues, [i]then you’re with the wrong guy[/i]. It’s time for you to reevaluate spending three years with a guy who isn’t fulfilling your needs. Luckily, you didn’t spend more time with him, but you really need to understand that he’s not Mr. Right for you.
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