How does one approach a waitress????

[Rangifer]

Hi to anyone reading this and compliments of the season. The company at which I work recently had its yearend function in a little restaurant to which I’ve never been before and as these types of functions go this one was no different.

The following may seem superficial, so I apologize if anyone if offended by it, but hey isn’t that how most first interactions are decided upon? Most of you know where this is going … I would like to ask the waitress out to coffee, but how? She probably meets plenty of people daily and I’ll put good money that she gets ‘hit one’ by stacks of guys. Not to over think thing but can it possibly be as simple as going to the restaurant, ordering a coffee and at the end asking her if she’ll join me for one sometime? Oh crap, what happens if she isn’t the one serving me? It can’t be too ethical bothering someone, you hardly know, at work only to ask her out to meet and greet.

What to do????

[kai]

I notice that you have placed your question in the forum for Guest Writers and Advice Column Contributors.

[b]This is not in the forum where April answers readers questions. [/b]

If you want to get a response from April, please repost your question in the proper forum, the Q & A Advice Forum:
http://www.askapril.com/forums/viewforum.php?f=1

[someoneinaustx]

If I were you, I would write a nice note and hand it to her in a manner which is not completely obvious to everyone else around. You don’t want to embarrass her at work, so asking out loud would not be the best idea. Not to mention, a bad boss may fire her if he learns about it.

I would be very complimentary in the note and just something to the effect of:

I hope that you don’t feel embarrassed or pressured by this note in any way, but if we don’t take chances in this world nothing exciting will ever happen. I came to this restaurant for work one day and I couldn’t help but notice you. You are clearly a beautiful woman and your smile caused me to smile. It is my hope that I may have the opportunity to get to know you a little better outside of your work, so if you are interested in meeting up for a coffee and a casual conversation you can call or text me at xxx-xxx-xxxx. I look forward to seeing you again!

Obviously, I don’t know you or your style, but what I wrote seems to me like it wouldn’t be awkward for her if the attraction wasn’t mutual. I wouldn’t stand there while she read it, I would just hand it to her and tell her it’s for when she has a few moments to herself.

Women are strange creatures. I am married and every morning when I would take my kids to school I would see one woman park her car near where I live and go jogging. She is a very beautiful woman and I began to look forward to seeing her. She was just part of the morning routine. One day I wrote a note and stuck it under her windshield wiper. The note said something to the effect of:

“I just wanted to pay you a compliment because every morning I see you jogging and can’t help but notice how beautiful you are. I look forward to driving past you every weekday, because for some unknown reason it just makes me smile. Anyway, I just wanted to write and pay you a compliment. Perhaps knowing the simple joy of a smile you bring to my daily routine will make you smile, in turn.”

See, I thought I was being sweet and thought that a woman would appreciate that she was noticed and complimented. Well, she never parked there again, so I guess she thought I was a stalker. I had the simplest of intentions which were really, really, really misinterpreted. It is sad that our society is in the state in which it is, because complimenting a woman at work will get you fired and your company sued, and any compliment to a stranger means you must be a stalker.

Why am I telling you this? Because it is possible that what you want to do could go horribly wrong, but I wouldn’t let that stop you from trying!

Good luck!

[jdawg]

The note could work. Alternatively you could just start going there a little more and having a conversation with her each time. Give it a few weeks and I reckon you would have a fair idea of whether or not she may be interested in hanging out. If after a few weeks you dont feel she is that keen, then you wont have to ask and feel she may reject your offer. If things go well, you may feel very confident.

@someoneinaustx, you have to look at it from the girls point of view. You wrote the running girl a note complimenting her on her beauty. She has never met you. You have never spoken. So for her to receive a note like that, she would be pretty freaked out. Its stalkerish from her point of view, even though you had good intentions. She wants to run and feel like the whole world isnt watching her, so to receive that note, why would she want to go back to where she used to run knowing that some random guy is watching her.

[Rangifer]

Hi

The business were I work is situated inside a compound with private residences. Over the past couple of weeks one tenant, in particular, has caught my attention but interaction has, sadly, been limited to the exchange of a polite waves. Mostly in the morning when we drive past each other on our way to work (She goes out and I come into the premises). I have asked around and we are both in the same profession (different companies though) and I deduced she is single.

The question now arises; how do I meet this person? I have a friend living on the premises so maybe he can arrange a ‘meet and greet’ at a coffee shop. Taking the idea of someoneinaustx perhaps write a short little note and leave it under her windshield. At the moment any coincidental meeting in the park area is an extremely hit and miss affair as my hours are very irregular. Any better ideas?

[Rangifer]

Hi

The business were I work is situated inside a compound with private residences. Over the past couple of weeks one tenant, in particular, has caught my attention but interaction has, sadly, been limited to the exchange of a polite waves. Mostly in the morning when we drive past each other on our way to work (She goes out and I come into the premises). I have asked around and we are both in the same profession (different companies though) and I deduced she is single.

The question now arises; how do I meet this person? I have a friend living on the premises so maybe he can arrange a ‘meet and greet’ at a coffee shop. Taking the idea of someoneinaustx perhaps write a short little note and leave it under her windshield. At the moment any coincidental meeting in the park area is an extremely hit and miss affair as my hours are very irregular. Any better ideas?

[April Masini]

Please don’t post the same question twice — it’s confusing! 😉 I answered your question on the other post you put on this forum today. 😀

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[Rangifer]

Hi

In the thread ‘Knocking on the door and asking out to coffee … is that it’ you replied I must re-post it as a reply on a thread I previously started. This one. Sorry for any confusion but I would really appreciate advice.

[April Masini]

I answered your question yesterday on the other string of posts you started in 2011. Please refer to that response. 🙂

It’s much easier for everyone if you stay with one string of posts, and not create a second one. 😉 Please post all future questions on that first string of posts. 😀

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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