How should I handle this

[Sikki]

My boyfriend made a Facebook account, that he didn’t tell me about. I found it because it came up on people I may know. I typed his cell phone number in search, to make sure it was him. Most of his friends that he added are random chicks, one being a porn star. He actually watched a video of her dancing naked, with me laying right beside him
. He is acting as if he did no wrong. He tells me I’m the love of his life,and he wants to marry me,and I believed him until this. My trust in him took a huge hit. Should I leave him? I feel like he emotionally cheated on me. I found it very disrespectful to our relationship, and I’m humiliated. What would you

[April Masini]

I understand that you feel betrayed. You didn’t know about this account and having stumbled on it, and sussed it out, you feel that his secret interaction with other women is threatening to your relationship. But before you freak out completely, pause and consider what it is he’s looking for in this social media account, and what he’s getting out of it. Is there a part of your relationship with him that isn’t working for him? Is he looking elsewhere for a certain fulfillment? Are the two of you having any problems — maybe problems that you didn’t think were that big a deal? Maybe these random women make him feel important and valuable. So take a breath and use this discovery as an opportunity to reconnect with your boyfriend and to learn more about why he’s connecting on this social media account, what he’s getting out of it, and what you and he can do within the relationship you already have, to get his needs met so he doesn’t have to look elsewhere. 😉

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