How to break up with the boyfriend :/ Please help

[Love_92]

Firstly I should tell the whole story as it is.

I am 17 years old, same as the boyfriend, I’m also 18 later this month, I have been dating this guy for a couple of months now, and I’m pregnant with his baby, I know I’m still young to be becoming a parent, but I have the support of my whole family, and the legal sexual consensual age here is 16.

Basically, we had been friends for a while, I went to his house, I’d been upset about other things and one thing lead to another and we had sex, the next day he asked me out, and without me even thinking it through I said yes.
He then and still now wants every bit of my undying attention.

I try to walk somewhere at the shops and he has a freak out that I’m going off somewhere, he is completely over the top in public displays of affection, and I really don’t like it and have told him but he still doesn’t stop.

Also I live nearly 2 hours away from him, and the only way to get remotely to his house is a $50-$60 round trip from mine to his. It wouldn’t be a problem in most cases, but he is wanting to see me every week for days on end, and I just can’t afford that and this pregnancy has me suffering from very bad morning sickness not helped by my reflux, so I can barely sit in a car for 20 minutes let alone 2 hours without throwing up. And he just does not understand that I cannot see him as easily as he likes, he knew it was going to be like that in a long distance relationship.

Then the sex, he doesn’t understand that no means no. I could be lying on the bed at any time of the day or night and he will ask for sex, and if I say no, he has a big sook and keeps complaining until I will have sex with him, he doesn’t like foreplay either, just sex and he knows that I find sex uncomfortable and painful, but it doesn’t stop him from continuously asking for it. And its the fact that its always more than once a day, like 3 or 4 and usually 2 or 3 times each time, and I just don’t like it. He just won’t stop until I don’t say no. I would leave earlier from his house in those circumstances, but the buses you travel on you have to pre-pay for the tickets on the day you want to depart and the day you want to return before you even go on the bus. Like a few days beforehand.

He is also one of these people who says ‘I love you’ even though we had been dating for like 3 days, I hate it, I’m not in love with him, and I don’t like it that he always says it to me, because you can’t be ‘in love’ with someone after 2 months of dating. I just don’t understand him, and in truth I think he is very immature, and I made a bad decision getting with him, we were better off as friends.

Me getting pregnant just basically f***ed my plans on breaking up with him bigtime. I could have told him exactly how I felt, and never had to see him again, but he now has a part in this baby’s life too. I should have ‘kept my legs closed’ as so many people eloquently put it, but in this case I didn’t and a baby happened by accident. I won’t get an abortion, that’s just not an option, neither is adoption. He knows I’m pregnant, and he is helping me with it, which I am very grateful for, but I just can no longer stand to be in a relationship with him, as selfish as it may seem on my behalf. He can still have plenty to do with the baby etc, I am fine with that, he hasn’t done anything by me to cause me to not want him to see his child, I just am not romantically interested in him any more.

He is just to clingy and doesn’t understand that I cannot do absolutely everything he wants too. Its getting to the point where I am just going to snap at him and just cause more problems than I need.

I need a way to break up with him, so that, even if it hurts him for a bit at the start, in the end he realises that I don’t hate him, and I’m not trying to stop him from having anything to do with his baby.

Please help in anyway that you can.

Just a side note, but he does not want to care for the baby all alone, his ‘lifestyle’ isn’t suited to it, he apparently wouldn’t know how to handle it etc, so the baby is my responsibility basically.

(Also to all those that do read this, if you think I’m ‘easy’ in anyway, you are mistaken, I made a stupid teenage decision and it just went wrong and I am now trying to make up for it.)

[katdawg]

I’m sorry you’re having to go through this at your age. I made the same mistake but I was nineteen. At that time I didn’t know any better that I had a choice. I’m proud of you for standing your ground in that you are choosing not to have an abortion but are stepping up to the plate and taking your mistake and new responsibility seriously. It is painful to realize how huge this changes your life forever. What’s done is done and you now have to reassess your life, which you are doing.

At one point you stated that the legal sexual consensual age in your area is 16 but then said, “Then the sex, he doesn’t understand that no means no.” You may have consented at one point but it has become an invasion of your body. The definition of rape is the crime of forcing another to submit to sex acts, especially sexual intercourse. I have to say that is not the type of man I would want around my children nor raising them. You can go to the police and press charges on him. If anything get a restraining order on him and leave the relationship that you so desire to. I suggest you start to document everything that he does that invades your right to your and your child’s safety. He sounds dangerous to me. I don’t think you’ll have a problem with him coming near you because you go to him, but you should discontinue that if you are saying you don’t want to see him. ??? Why are you making the trip and spending your money? That doesn’t make sense. You have the control in that sense.

You are lucky to have the support of your whole family because you will need THEM (not your current man) to help you through parenting. I would take advantage of your family’s offer to help you and continue your education so that you can set the foundation for providing a good life for your child in the future. Your family should be very proud of you for owning up to your mistake and growing up about it. That man – should be history based on the story of his not respecting your no and continuing to pressure you to have sex with him. Eww

[April Masini]

Looks like you posted this question twice! See my response and advice on your duplicate post.

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