I cheated

[relationshipa1]

No matter how much I reason and evaluate what I did and hopefully find some sort of peace– the fact of the matter is, I cheated and I am a bitch.

I am usually a very loyal girlfriend and I do not know why I did this.

Here is the story: We are in a long- distance relationship. I am a very practical and realistic person. I do not believe in long distance relationship but here I am 2 years running. We live in the same country but he is in college across the pacific. My boyf is rich, I am poor. We are not of the same race and he’s family seems to have accepted that fact but still, they know that I am a just a girlf and someone better will come along ( I myself, truly believe this). I am older than him for a few years.

I can go on and on on how we are not meant to be together but in the end I can bet the sun for it, I love him with everything I have and that’s why I don’t mind if he does leave me cause I know he will be happier.

When we’re together, nothing else matter.And I do regret.

Early this year, I met a guy. I told this guy that I just wanted to be friends and that I do have a boyf. Along these times, my boyf and I have been having problems and all the reasons why I should not be with him manifested and turned into hate and me wanting to be single. We fought everyday out of anything.

Simply to say, I was having an affair. It wasn’t a one night stand. It was a very special friendship. Things happened and he made me realize what my boyf never could. My self worth. That I can be smart and funny. That the colour of my skin was beautiful. That I can make someone happy.

Also that– although I have no proof — one of his friend called me saying he’s with someone.

I broke up with my boyf but he would not allow me and he begged me to stay and I said, “Alright, I’ll stay.”

In the end, I bid goodbye to my affair. The next day, my boyf came back and we spent a wonderful summer together.

Honestly, I was happier with my affair but I know that happiness will not lasts cause I dwell in pain. At least my boyf knows me in and out. And I wanted my affair as a friend not a lover.

Here comes the hard part. We had a wonderful summer but there is never a day when I do not think about what I did. If my boyf finds out I just know I might jump off a building out of guilt. To top that off, I felt like his family set- up everything. And they are catching a good time to show my sluttines. My affair and I had too much in common.

I know I should tell the truth. Nobody knows about my affair. But please give me an explanation….

These thoughts have been in my mind constantly that sometimes I cannot sleep.

I know what I have to do. Tell my boyf the truth and him leaving me is a punishment I deserve. But I do not want to hurt him. And I do love him.

Thank you,
SB

[April Masini]

You have to do what is right for you. No one else.

If your having cheated is making it impossible for you to be with your boyfriend, then understand that, and tell him about the affair. If the differences between the two of you make it impossible for you to be together, then accept that, and move on. If you do not have the strength to be with someone who’s parents don’t approve of you, then recognize that about yourself, and move on.

The problems you are having are not really about your boyfriend. They are about you. Your boyfriend is just the mirror for who you are. If you feel that you are not good enough, and you’ve chosen your boyfriend to prove that to yourself, then you are never going to feel at peace.

I’m a little worried that you said something about below about throwing yourself off a building if your boyfriend found out you had cheated. If you have [i]any[/i] suicidal thoughts, you need to get some professional help or tell a family member or loved one so that they can get you some help.

If, however, you were just being dramatic, my suggestion is to focus not on your boyfriend, but on yourself. Act on what you believe. If you believe long distance relationships aren’t right for you, then don’t get into one. If you believe that having a rich boyfriend when you’re poor isn’t right for you, then don’t date a rich guy. In other words, don’t confuse yourself. Know yourself. Know what you want in a man, and act on it.

If you gain some more self esteem, what you’ll come to realize is that people from different social classes, economic groups and races can love each other and make lives together that are successful and romantic. But if you think you don’t deserve happiness and love, then, sadly, you’ll set yourself up not to get it.

You might benefit from my book, Think & Date Like A Man, that you can get by clicking on the Dating Advice Books link at the top of the page, scrolling down, and ordering Think & Date Like A Man, there. It will help you figure out what you want in a man, what you deserve in a relationship, and how to get it. The chapters are easy to read, and if you read one chapter a day or a week, within a few weeks, you’ll be on the road to great relationships.

[JMP1369]

The bottom line is he Deserves to KNOW….I would want to. He’ll still love you… after he gets past the initial shock! But he deserves to know

[Anonymous]

What you experienced is just normal because that is reality.We are human and people commit mistakes.Don’t blame everything to yourself,You might not know? Your boyfriend cheats on you too.? That’s possible right? Having a long distance relationship is hard. You don’t see each other and often lies. As you said you are a loyal girlfriend before that happened. Just make things right.IF HE REALLY DOES LOVE YOU, he will accept you for what you’ve done. I know you knew what to do. Face the consequences of your mistake. In the end, that mistake will give you lessons in life.

“There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.”

[April Masini]

Let me know how things are going for you…. 😀

[Author]

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