I feel butterflies in my stomach but…

[relationshipa1]

So there’s this one guy I met in my tuition centre. We’ve known each other for about 5 months now, but I realise I have a crush on him only about 2 months ago. We only started hanging out outside of tuition class with our clique because one of our classmates went away overseas, which was around 3 weeks ago. It might sound like we haven’t talked much, but then I sit next to him in class so we talk a lot, and while our teacher’s out of the classroom we’ll talk about art, music, anything! I’m not seeing signs that he’s interested in dating for now – he currently has mock exams to worry about! And I don’t think it’s a right time for me to confess my feelings for him too – it might distract him from his important exams, and it’s really important for him.

What should I do now? Should I ask him to hang out after his exams? And should I text him more often after his exams? What should I type in my SMSes?

[April Masini]

[b]Don’t[/b] text him more often! [b]Do[/b] flirt with him more in a way that lets him know you’re interested in him as more than a friend. Guys want to do the chasing, so you have to give him something to chase after. I know you like him a lot, but don’t throw yourself at him. Play it cool, but play it cool enough that he has to spend more time with you!

I hope that helps. 😀 Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter.

[Anonymous]

What kind of flirting should I do? We tease each other frequently, and I do playfully hit his arm sometimes. Is this completely ok? I think he isn’t getting the idea that I’m interested in him through these actions though.

[April Masini]

Get my book, Think & Date Like A Man, because there is an entire chapter on flirting! You will learn what and how to do it, and what his body language means, as well as how he interprets yours. Here’s the link for the automatic download: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url] and you can also buy it at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

[Emilyrockhart]

Hi April, it’s me again. I took your advice and tried flirting with him, but then he has a really loud friend who pointed out that I was flirting. I felt really embarrassed but then I swiftly recovered saying something among the lines of is it such a taboo if my confidence level is sky high. Is this a good or a bad thing? By the way, this happened online so does it make all the difference? Will this be a bad impression on my crush now? He hasn’t talked to me since and I’m just waiting till we see each other again at tuition, or should I try something else?

[April Masini]

Let the ball be in his court. If he likes you, he’ll let you know. If he doesn’t, you’ll know he’s not interested and you can focus your energy elsewhere. 😀

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url]http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001113133958[/url]. 😀

[Emilyrockhart]

So far I’m not getting any signals (other than him FB “liking” those comments his friend made) so I am going to leave it at that. But I think I remember at one point he said he never dated anyone before? (we’re 18 plus) so will it affect his response to flirting?

[April Masini]

An 18 year old guy knows what a date is, and even if he doesn’t have a lot of experience, he’ll figure out how to pursue you if he’s truly interested. 😉

[Emilyrockhart]

Hey April, lately I’ve realise that he has been showing signs that he isn’t interested. So I’ll be getting over him soon.

However, my friend managed to point out one thing for me. All this while I have never been asked out by anyone, only getting news of guys crushing on me, and when I do I get too excited. Also when I like someone, although I try not to show that excited rush I have, they just seem to get scared of me as well.

This is probably a trait of mine that constantly drives men away – that groupie fangirl vibe I have. Do you have any advice on how to get rid of this desperate vibe that comes out of me?

Thanks for all the replies so far though, they have been helpful!

[April Masini]

There is nothing that kills attraction like desperation. 😕 Men run from it. Women flee when they see it. That you’ve recognized that this is a problem for you is a good first step. 🙂 You have to practice moderating your behavior. You can have butterflies in your stomach, but you have to play it cool in real life. When you start feeling what you charmingly call a groupie fan/girl vibe, check yourself. Breathe and look away before starting any conversation.

I’ve suggested you read Think & Date Like A Man, [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], and I still think this book will help you. You can buy it for $8.99 on the link I’ve just given you or else on the websites for Amazon or Barnes & Noble. Read it!

I hope that helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url]http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001113133958[/url]. 😀

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