i just want him back

[trulymadlydeeply]

Need advice asap! thanks

So one day my boyfriend decides that he wants to take a break from our relationship. (We have been dating for a little over a year) It came out of no where because we never fought and everything was going perfectly. So he said that he wanted time to make sure that i was the girl he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and he just wanted time to be single. And as my first reaction i was in complete denial and i kept fighting and fighting for him to come back and we kept hanging out when i knew that he wanted his space. I just didnt want anyone else to have him. Later i found out that he was hooking up with this girl and he said there were no feelings. He keeps telling me that he isnt looking for a relationship and that he just wants to be single. When i ask him he says that he still loves me and realized that he wants me as his future but right now he isnt ready for a relationship, but i have a feeling he is still seeing that other girl. By seeing i mean hooking up or whatvever he is doing.

I lost trust in him and he tore a perfectly good relationship apart. I feel that even though he said he loves me and then he goes to kiss and do things with other girls its considered cheating. But i guess that isnt what he thinks. I know that we are not together but if he says that he loves me and wants me as his future then why doesnt he just come back now? And he tells me that he wants me to go and have fun myself but that is so then he has an excuse for him to do it.

I love him and i am willing to wait for him but how can i be completely sure that he truly loves me and that he will come back?

[katdawg]

I forgot who wrote this quote but here it is: ” Why be needy and possessive? The world is big enough to contain everything — you don’t have to grip things so tightly. If it’s meant to be with you, it will stick around. If not, it’s all for the best.” take his word for it and stop wasting your energy wondering and hoping. live your life and continue doing the things you love to do in life. do you have any hobbies that you can continue to do? he is telling you he wants to be single and he needs space from you. respect that and give it to him; i’m sure if you asked the same from him you would want him to respect your request.

[April Masini]

Your boyfriend wants his cake and to eat it too. Sorry, but he’s not into you enough to commit to you after a year, and he’s being up front with you that he’s dating at least one other woman. You need to focus on his actions and not his words and do what is best for you, since you’re no longer a couple — he’s single, and that leaves you single, too, if my math is correct. 😉

His wanting you for his future would be believable if he was willing to propose marriage to you because that’s sort of the only credible way I know for giving you a genuine commitment for the future. But since he’s not taking any actions towards a future together — and, in fact, he’s taking actions towards exploring relationships with other women and [i]away[/i] from a future with you — you have to focus on reality. Your boyfriend isn’t your boyfriend any more.

I know you want him back, and I’m sorry that you’re hurt, but none of us get what we want all the time. And if he doesn’t want you back, it’s going to be impossible for you to get him back in spite of your feelings for him.

What I’d like to see you do is to realize that you are deserving of a romantic, monogamous, loyal and respectful relationship, and that your boyfriend is not able to meet these needs any more. It’s time for you to move on. I’m sorry if I sound like a broken record, but my book, Think & Date Like A Man, is one you should really read right now. If you feel like treating yourself to something that will make you feel better, download the book here [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url].

The book will help you move on, and get ready to get out there and find a man who is Mr. Right — because that’s what you deserve.

[Author]

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