I love her, but Im at a loss!

[JeffLovesHer]

Hello…
I am just at a HUGE loss here!
I am 100% IN love with the woman of my dreams! I love her, I would do anything in the world for her.
We have been together for a little over 2 years, but 2 1/2 weeks ago, she decided that we needed to split apart? I knew we had our little trials and problems to overcome, but this took me from left field!
Her name is Kathryn. She was TOTALLY in love with me, and we talked about getting married and we definitely wanted to spend the rest of our lives together… NO QUESTIONS!
We moved in with each other 1 year ago, almost to the day… And we bit off a bit more than we could chew! We had to take on a 3rd person, which EVERYONE knows how that works out… always!
But Kathryn is a VERY strong, independent, take control, ambitious type of person. And she took control of all our expenses and whatnot. About 8 months into it, I lost work, and was only working 2 days a week, doing construction. This put a HUGE strain on us. And eventually led to Kat being the main set of shoulders that everything set down on. And I got depressed and started going downward! It made me feel so bad, but I didn’t do anything about it. NOW I have though. I have come out of my funk and am working 2 1/2 jobs! So, we split like I said but it’s not something that I want to do. She tells me that she is still in love with me and she KNOWS what she wants… and she wants me, in the future. So of course, I am compelled to wait! Not because Im a little puppy dog but because I would do ANYTHING for her, and if time is what she wants right now, then time is what I want to give her! But at the same time, I dont want her to think that I will wait forever. She even tells me that its extremely messed up of her and very selfish to ask this of me, but this is what she wants right now… But she wants to go out and do her thing like party with her sister and friends, but she doesnt want to leave me behind and sacrifice our relationship, because I suspect that she thinks there is definitely a future here with me… So she doesn’t want to mess that up, so she decides that a split is the best thing to do…
I have NO idea what to do… I cant get her out of my head because when you meet that ONE person that you KNOW you are going to marry and have the rest of your life with, YOU KNOW IT! And I’ve been divorced, been with another woman for 4 years and have a child with… But with Kathryn, I have never felt feelings like I do with her… And I THINK that she feels the same way about me, but she is very reserved in her emotions. She’s cried several times when we actually sat down and talked about things… But she refuses to talk about it now… And I feel that I’m getting left behind or kicked to the curb… I dont know WHAT to think! I mean, I dont want her to end up with some other shmuck because I KNOW that I can treat her better than anyone else can. I mean, I KNOW that we are meant to be together, and I think SHE knows it as well! But she doesn’t show anything to me. She tells me that I should leave it all alone and she will be more responsive! I dont know…
I am TRYING to keep all the faith and confidence in the world that we will end up being together. She tells me that she doesnt want to be with me, unless we can be GREAT! And I KNOW we will be great in the future! It’s just very difficult for me NOW!
She removed her little spiel about me on her myspace “about me” section… what does this mean??? Is she trying to get rid of me all together and just do it gently? Or is she temporarily trying to get rid of me???
I KNOW that this is the woman who was meant for me… and I think that things MUST get worse in order to get better… EVERY TIME! But I dont know what or how she thinks anymore… I am at such a loss…
What do I do??? Do I leave it alone and NOT talk to her at all or do I talk to her some but not about us, or what??? What is she looking for from me?

[kai]

I’ve been there and know how hard this is. My suggestion is to give her space and to start dating new people, as hard as it might be. Chasing after her only makes you look desperate and needy and that turns women off. She needs to miss you and if you’re always around calling, texting, emailing, trying to see her or whatever she’s never going to feel what it would be like to lose you. Also, if she really wants to be with you in the future she’s not going to want to risk losing you by having you date other people. If she doesn’t care, she doesn’t care — and you need to move on. 😉

[JeffLovesHer]

Thanks… That’s really the response I was looking for, but at the same time… expected!
For me, this is definitely the woman of my dreams and I KNOW deep down in me, that she was built for me! And believe me, I’ve been with many women in every single way possible. But Kathryn does things to me that I’ve never experienced before! Every time I see her or think about our future together, I get all tingly and shit!
I KNOW that I have to let her be, but damn… it’s really hard! I can’t believe I’m sweating a woman this bad! The way we split wasn’t great, but it wasn’t horrible either… She told me that she wants to leave because she knows what she wants, and that’s me… She left so that she do whatever to get whatever out of her system, because she doesn’t want to sacrifice our relationship to do that… Partying or I dunno really!
I respect her on so many lvls, but I just don’t understand it I guess…
I am totally ready to marry this woman, and we’ve discussed it numerous times! I guess she realizes that we DO have a future together and it kinda makes her scared? I dont know.
But I realize that I have to leave her alone, pretty easy answer to say… Doing so is different!
It’s just VERY difficult to leave her be when you know with every inch of you that she is the one for you! I have faith and confidence in her, AND us that she feels the same!
But I will give her what she needs… And I think that if I do love her as much as I do, then I will do that for her!
Now the other day, she DID get VERY jealous when I mentioned that I was going out to watch the Capitals game with another female… even though she IS just a friend! I don’t know if that’s a “territory” thing with women or if she actually thinks she is losing me?
All has yet to be seen… I will try my hardest!

[April Masini]

Let me know how things are going for you…. 😀

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