I need help with this!!!!

[Missladyt_17]

Hello everyone,

I will try and make this as short as possible, here it goes: There is this guy at work that stares at me all the time, it just seemed liked every time I looked up, he was looking at me. He will stare at me when I am not looking and then when I look at him he would turn his head. When I am near him he ignores me like I have a disease or something. I thought he was somewhat attracted to me and I am a little interested. I really thought about asking him out on a date.

This may be strange but, when I am alone doing my work, I can hear him being loud, he laughs, talks and whatever else, that does not bother me at all. Sometimes with a few of my co-workers we will cut up with one another and the next thing I know here comes this guy out of no where. I see him staring at me and I do not look his way, he will walk by me and look at me, I glace and keep doing what I am doing.It seems as if he wants to get my attention when I am having a good time with my co-workers, he will walk by me and look at me or if I walk by he will look.

Here is an example: My friend came by my desk and we both went to throw our garbage away, we begin talking to another lady in the hallway, next thing I know here he comes walking out the door. He was staring at me and I did not look his way. We got back to my desk and I looked at the door and he was staring at me again. I looked away, then he walks by my desk and he looks at me again, I glance up and kept doing what I was doing.

I said forget it, I am not going to ask him out because I do not think he is interested enough in me to ask me out. WHAT GIVES?????? Whatever you guys tell me to do, that is what I am going to do.

[April Masini]

Don’t ask him out on a date. Instead….. let him know you’re interested in him by flirting with him. 😎 This will make it clear to him you’re interested without your chasing him and taking that opportunity away from him. Chasing him also makes it unclear how much he likes you. If a guy asks you out on a date, you know he wants to date you! That sounds facile, but the reality is that many readers write to me because they’ve asked a guy out on a date, and when he doesn’t call, they’re confused. If you leave the chasing and date-asking to him, you’ll have a clear idea of how he feels about you. 😉 You may be disappointed (or not), but you’ll be clear. And clarity affords you options to stick in there or move on.

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[Missladyt_17]

Kind of hard to flirt when he tries to avoid me now because it is very clear that he does not want me to know how interested he is. When I come around he gets so nervous and he tries his best not to look my way. Flirting with him is out of the question, I think he has read my negativity toward him. I did everything I could to let him know I was interested. I smiled at him, I looked him straight in the eyes when he looked at me, not sure there is much more to do than that. I have just decided to move on, I do not see him asking me on a date or anything else.

I

[April Masini]

Then it’s time to move on. If you’re not going to flirt, and he’s not going to ask you out on a date, my advice is not to waste your time and energy on him. If he sees you having a good life and things going well, and possibly even seeing other guys interested in you, he may ask you out then — or not. But either way, if you’re [i]not[/i] investing in someone who isn’t going to step up to the plate, you can’t lose. If you are investing in someone who isn’t delivering any returns, you’re going to lose out. 😉

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[Missladyt_17]

In all honesty April, it is really hard for him to speak to me due to my position in the company. I am in charge of 8 to 9 programs at my company and I make a six figure salary. I can see where he is a little intimidated and it is very, very difficult to approach me due to so many people around all the time. Under different circumstances, maybe. I am almost sure he is afraid of rejection or feels that I am out of his league.

I tell you what, he watches my every move when he can and if I am joking around with my friends, he finds a way to make his presence known. It is kind of funny because I really, really thought about going up to him and just telling him a little about myself. I will do anything to get him to stop staring at me. He is trying to stop, but he is not doing a good job and he is afraid that someone may see him, so he is working on it. I must say he is quite a handsome fellow.

[April Masini]

Good luck! 😀

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[Missladyt_17]

Hi April,

I have to tell you this. I told you that I would probably go up to him and introduce myself and I probably would have, but then I thought.Why should I speak to someone that walks by me and not even look my way, not even to say goodmorning. I just went on about my business and when he did pass me, I did not bother to try and make eye contact.

It seems that after that he was trying to run into me intentionally. I would leave and come back and here he comes. He finally was able to pass me in the hallway and he just turned his head completely the other way. I just laughed to myself. Now it seems he is going out of his way to let me know that he does not want to look at me or want me in his space. For example: He walks by an area that I sit sometimes and he walked by, but on his return he went around the other way, that is fine. He then began to get loud talking to other co-workers near me, so that I will know that he went around the other way. If he sees me coming he will turn around and walk the other way. I have no problem passing him and I am not going to alter my route just because he is there. He is really going out of his way to show me that he is not interested.

I guess what pisses me off is the fact that he acts like I have been bothering him in some way and he is just tired of me and wants to be rid of me. Okay, I got his message no need to rub it in and besides that I never bothered him in the first place.

What is his problem? No need to turn hateful.

[April Masini]

I’m not sure what his problem is — or if he has one! 😉 My advice is to focus on your life and what you want and how to get it. 🙂

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