I’m at a loss of what to do…

[Evie]

I’m at a loss at what to do.

My boyfriend/fiance and I are in a long distance relationship. We had our ups and downs, had arguments, had broken up and got back together. He proposed marriage and I accepted. Yet, we’re still in a long distance relationship that has been going on for a while. And I feel our relationship has hit an all-time-low. Or rather, felt like rock bottom.

When we had our arguments, it was due to our differences in our view of things. For most part, it’s the arguments has me upset. I focused on school to avoid the arguments and didn’t talk as much to him fearing that we will argue again and ruin the relationship. The last time I saw him in person was back in March 2009 when we went on a week long trip together. I didn’t want to leave him but I had to to go back to school after Spring break ended. After that, things were quiet between us. Things kind of cooled I guess you could say that. But throughout all this time, he has been the most important to me even though he thought that school was what was important to me. Already in a long distance relationship with him, now our distance is even further. Now that I’ve finished school in the US, I’m on the other side of the world from him. He’s in the US and I’m in China.

He told me that he doesn’t want to do long distance anymore. Neither do I but reality is not letting me be with him. I can’t be there with him long term unless I have a job or going to grad school. And doing either is already on my list of problems I have to deal with already as getting a job for me is hard without at least a Masters degree and it is hard for me to get into grad school. The other options is unless we get married. My parents know about our long distance relationship but they told me they will not let me just go and live with him without him giving me some sort of status. In other words, they will not let me live with him unless he will marry me.

He asked me what I want for the future and I told him that I want to be with him, marry him and start a family with him. It has been two months since I told him what I wanted. I had called him, text him on his cell, and e-mailed him both at home and work and I still haven’t heard from him. He has moved to another part of town recently so I don’t have his new address to send him mail. I know he needs time but and from his last e-mail he said he had been busy at work, and having recently promoted, he’s probably busy with more work. I don’t know why he can’t even spend a minute to let me know whether he has got my e-mails or not. Is he still needing time to think or just running away from dealing with it?

I’m scared of what will happen and this waiting is making me feel depressed. I don’t believe that our relationship is over. I have talked to my very best friend about our long distance relationship problems and she told me that if the relationship is truly over, he wouldn’t tell me that he doesn’t want to do long distance anymore. I love him so much that I rejected pother men who are interested in me. I want to make the relationship work. But other than waiting, I don’t know what else I can do. I don’t know what else I could or should do to save this relationship from being over. All I know is that I’m really scared of what might happen. What can I do? What should I do?

[April Masini]

Please connect your posts so it’s easier for me — and the other readers to see them all in one place and give you the best possible advice! 😀

[Evie]

[quote=”April Masini”]Please connect your posts so it’s easier for me — and the other readers to see them all in one place and give you the best possible advice! 😀[/quote]

Ok. I did that. I put it under the post I was referring to.

[April Masini]

And you’ll find I answered it today! 😀

[Author]

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