Obviously, the first place to start is feeling sexy, yourself! Great, new lingerie, a warm bath with scented bubbles and flickering candles help a lot! Share a sexy cocktail or an elegant flute of champagne or a nice bottle of wine, as well some aphrodisiac type foods like oysters, chocolate or sauteed mushrooms, as well as a romantic meal together. These can all be parts of foreplay. If you’re waxed, coiffed and wearing a great new scent, you’re going to feel a lot more sexy than if you’re rushing to fit sex in between errands with someone you’re basically peeved at. 😕 In other words, change the scenario of your life. 😀
But that’s just one part of the equation. It’s really important to start building intimacy with your fiance. Appreciate what he does do. You said he’s a stay at home dad with both of your children — can you find any way to appreciate him for doing that for you? Child care is expensive, and his saving your family that expense must count for something. If he’s attractive in any remote way, focus on what you do like about him (you made two babies with him — he MUST have some attractive qualities!).
As you begin to build your sex life and your intimate life back, begin to change your patterns of letting things slide — without coming on aggressively. Suggest some out of the box solutions, like both of you working part time and being stay at home parents part time. Move towards equity and eventually, move towards the type of family structure you both agree on. But for now, focus on rebuilding the relationship between the two of you.
You can always buy and read Romantic Date Ideas, a book I wrote for couples who want to put the X back in their sex lives and the sizzle back in the bedroom. Here’s the link to buy that book: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/romantic-date-ideas.html[/url].
I hope that helps. I wish you good luck. I know you’re moving in the right direction. Stay the course! 😀
Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url]http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001113133958[/url].
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