Early on, and during that transition between our hobby and and becoming friends, I did feel that I was doing a lot of the initiating, so I backed off. He now initiates a lot of the plans. If I haven’t suggested anything by the end of the week, he will. SOmetimes I have made plans with others, and have had to turn him down. I’ve even left out names, and eluded what sex the friend was. It got him curious, asking all about my “friend” I spent the evening with, and even wanted a name. 😀 If anything he is the one that is more available. He’s always offering to do thing for me, or help me with. He says yes to everything I ask, whether its to hang out, go out (even things he’s not that into), he always says yes. He’s so reliable, dependable – one of the things that makes me feel safe. I never realized it till now, but an important quality I want in a relationship.
I’m thinking a bit more information here might be helpful. I think in some ways, I intimidate him, or at least I may have until he got to know me better. I am pretty ambitious, quite successfull not only in my job, in many things I set myself out to do. I make more $ than him, not much more, but he seems to think its a lot more. He often makes assumptions that I can afford things I clearly can not. This leads me to believe he is intimidated by my level of independance. I had all this before I met him. I know guys like to feel like they can take care of you, so I let him help me do things, I ask him for help sometimes when I really don’t “need” it – but only if its not obvious. I TRY to let him pay when we go out. Also maybe an important peice of information I left out before, is that he is from Fance – moved here about 5 years ago, but only 1 year in my area. Relationship culture there is very different – there is no such thing is dating. Over there, you get to know each other sort of how we have been doing, but in more group/social situations, then a kiss is a prelude into a relationship. So with all that said, it just seems like there is so much weighing in on the next move, and who makes it. I thnk because I appear to be confident and outgoing, he makes himself available so I will make the move. I can’t seem to find the right moment – I wish he would.
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