Is not being friends with your ex-bf/gf a cultural thing?

[Evie]

I’m just curious on when people say that you shouldn’t be friends with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, is this a cultural belief?

I know in the US, people say you shouldn’t be friends with your ex, but in the Asian culture where I spent part of my life growing up in, we have a saying that roughly translates to “still friends after break-up” in English. In our culture, it’s acceptable to be friends with your ex (unless the break-up is really ugly or if your ex is a bad person like in the Triads or something), and not necessarily have to draw the line or lose all contact with your ex.

Just want to hear some thoughts on that. 🙂

[April Masini]

Having an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend in your life can be enough of a distraction that it keeps you from moving on emotionally — and physically. Just because one person is over the relationship doesn’t mean both people are, and as long as one of you isn’t, the relationship can become a crutch to finding Mr. or Ms. Right. Sometimes people try to talk themselves into being over a relationship only to find themselves getting jealous when their ex introduces them to the new girlfriend in his life. That’s a warning sign that there are still feelings there and those feelings can keep you from fully committing to someone else.

Can you EVER be friends with an ex? Yes. Lots of times people divorce and re-marry, but continue to share custody of their children with an ex-spouse. This is a perfect of example of when it’s important to be friendly or at least civil — but not for each other — for the sake of the children. It makes the kids’ lives easier when their parents are friendly or at least civil. But if you don’t have kids, there’s less of a reason to stay in touch and try and have dinner now and then. Usually these reunions just stir up old feelings that keep you from moving on.

I hope that helps. 🙂

[Author]

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