Is There Hope to Get My Ex Boyfriend Back

[Rachelhue]

We broke up about 2 weeks ago. He broke up with me. We were head over heels for each other and we talked about getting married and having kids. He started joining clubs and became busy. We started having some arguments. He would say how he could never imagine life without me and that I was the one. he broke up with me saying he isn’t happy and he isn’t doing what he wants. he would tell me how happy I made him. We both cried and he said he loved me and asked if we could be friends. I told him not now. He then told me if I need to talk about things he’ll be there. We didn’t talk for a week, I didn’t contact him/he didn’t contact me. After a week I got a call from a friend saying my ex wanted to give me my stuff back through her. I had some of his stuff and I dropped it off in person. He was upset with me because he thought I never wanted to speak to him again. I told him I just didn’t want to be friends. He told me he felt like he was putting me as a priority instead of things that would benefit his future. I asked if he still cared and he said he doesn’t think he’ll ever stop. We joked about how we couldnt be friends because we have such a strong past. he doesn’t know what makes him happy anymore. I told him maybe in the future we can start over and he said if I want to talk about things again we can. He gave me 3 hugs. I told him I missed him and he said he missed me too. I left w/o begging and I’m back to no contact. I really thought he was my soulmate and we had an amazing connection. I don’t know if I should completely move on or try after no contact to get him back.

[April Masini]

Since he is the one who broke up with you, and the reason he gave is that he isn’t happy and isn’t sure how to be happy, I think you should move on. This isn’t a break up that has to do with you. It’s about his not being able to be in a relationship right now because he’s in a place in his life where he’s okay. You have to be healthy, yourself, before you can be healthy with someone else. 😉

I agree with you that it’s wrong to try to be friends with an ex. This just makes it way harder to move on, and there’s always that romantic and sexual tension underlying any other relationship dynamic that makes true friendship impossible. So, trust your gut. Be sad that it’s over, but be mature in understanding why and that moving on is what’s best for you.

I hope that helps.

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