[Kelly54]

bye

[poly]

Hi,
That’s a pretty complicated situation you have there. Does Josh know you are pregnant with Dan’s child? Is he okay with it/does he still want to be with you? Does Dan know anything about your thoughts on leaving? Which male figure has shown greater intentions of staying committed to BOTH your children? What about your daughter? Does she respond well to her biological father?

You have several months to figure out what you really want, don’t rush into the decision. Whoever you decide to go with, make sure it’s final. I think for your daughters sake though, you should allow her to have a say. I mean, (and I only base this on the information you have given) it seems like Daniel is more responsible and committed, because he was with you while you had a 3 month old child. (I don’t think a lot of guys rush for the opportunity to raise someone else’s child). Just because Josh has finally got his head on straight, 5 years after the fact, doesn’t mean he should get off the hook so easily. Make sure he really means it and make him PROVE it. You need stability now that you are having a family. Real love may not be as obvious at first, may get buried in daily routine, but is always there and doesn’t waiver. Make sure your feelings for Josh aren’t just “romantic” feelings that are ephemeral, and visa versa.

[kai]

Be careful. I think there’s a good chance that Josh wants you now because he doesn’t have you. Dan has proven that he’s a good man and a good father. Before you throw him away I’d make very sure that Josh is really going to be there for the long haul. I also think that there’s an element of Romeo and Juliet fantasy involved in your “love” for Josh. No relationship is perfect and while the grass may look greener on the other side of the fence — it may only be an illusion.

[Kelly54]

Thank you to all for your advice.
i feel so lost and so confused. if i ask my 5 year old what she wants i know for a fact that she will say Daniel.
im just afraid of staying with Dan for the kids.
i dont sexualy desire him anymore nor do i desire to “hang out” with him.
and yes, in a way i do feel like telling Josh sorry buddy its too late.
but thats not what my heart really wants.
Josh does know im pregnant with Dans baby and is fully aware and willing to take on the responsibility.
i have always pictured myself getting married to Josh.
so, im not going to rush and im going to take things slow.
who knows whats going to transpire 3 months from now.
am i really getting lost in the infactuation of Josh and not thinking of the day to day daily gind?

once again, THANK YOU ALL for your helpful advice!

[katdawg]

you’re pretty selfish. poor kids; look what you’re putting them through. you are offering them no stability in their lives and the question I have is how many more children are you going to bring into this world with no real family to put them into? when are you going to start thinking for what’s best for your children and who can offer the MOST NORMALCY for your children’s upbringing? what kind of example are you setting for them? wow. and this is the question you have for us all? poor kids.

[Kelly54]

[quote=”katdawg”]you’re pretty selfish. poor kids; look what you’re putting them through. you are offering them no stability in their lives and the question I have is how many more children are you going to bring into this world with no real family to put them into? when are you going to start thinking for what’s best for your children and who can offer the MOST NORMALCY for your children’s upbringing? what kind of example are you setting for them? wow. and this is the question you have for us all? poor kids.[/quote]
“The most normalcy”?! how would you know if my life is unstable? do you live with me? do you know me personally? i have done a geat job as a mother! i give my daughter the best life any child could have.
Both Dan and josh are wonderful fathers and my daughter KNOWS the difference between her real dad and Dan.
Its not like im popping kids out left and right with who ever the fuck comes my way!
i have been in a stable relationship with dan and knows what its like to live day to day with this man.
the question was (which you obviously missed) was should i give Josh, whom i known for about 6 years, a chance.
READ the question, think it through, maybe doodle a picture while you think and then intelligently TRY to give advice.
if its too hard for you then dont bother giving out your “advice”!
🙂 have a wonderful day!

[April Masini]

Let me know how things are going for you…. 😀

[Author]

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