[relationshipa1]

There’s a woman that works in a convenience store near my office that I frequent often for lunch, etc. Every time we see each other, we always exchange smiles (not subtle smiles, but big toothy smiles), and if I don’t say ‘Hi’ first, she does. We call each other by our names; she remembered mine just from my debit card. We laugh at each others jokes and stories. She often twirls her hair, displays her neckline and makes sure to attract my attention. There’s been times where I’ve caught her looking at me and she smiles and looks away. She always makes an effort to engage me in conversation, even if I’m at another clerk’s register.

The fact that I asked her out earlier this week and she responded with “I have a boyfriend” hasn’t changed any of that. One thing that struck me as a bit odd is when I asked her out (I asked her out for coffee) was after the “I have a boyfriend” statement, she then responded “Although coffee does sound really good right now.”

Is that ‘code’ for something? Perhaps some kind of subconscious admission of sorts?

I understand that women sometimes use the ‘I have a boyfriend’ line even if they don’t really have a boyfriend, but as attractive as this woman is, I do believe she may indeed have a boyfriend. Even though she’s told me that she has a boyfriend, it hasn’t changed how we communicate with each other (verbally or non-verbally). I also understand that 9 times out of 10 when a woman uses the ‘I have a boyfriend’ line to show that they’re not interested in any way, they’ll also try to keep from talking to the guy as much as possible. If the woman does indeed have a boyfriend, I have enough respect for her not to push the issue. The only thing is that I can’t help but wonder if she might indeed be interested in me.

[April Masini]

Your friend definitely likes you, but she has a boyfriend, which is why she didn’t accept your date for coffee. It’s that simple. I know you’re looking for some hidden meaning because she flirts with you, but the bottom line of any relationship is behavior, and when she turned you down for a coffee date, albeit nicely and with charm, that was your cue to look elsewhere for a date.

If you want to cover all your bases, next time you’re flirting with her, you can mention to her, “You let me know next time you don’t have a boyfriend, ‘kay?” And just leave it at that. So, if she really is interested in you, and becomes single and interested, she has an in to cue you to her new social status.

But for now, remember that when Freud said, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar,” April says, “Sometimes a flirt is just a flit.” The real measure of her interest is a yes or no answer to your asking her on a date.

I hope that helps! 🙂

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