Married man loves me but….

[relayshuns]

I am recently divorced and my lover is married. He goes out of his way to see me..drives 3 hours one way helps me monetarily and every which way. i appreciate it all. Here is the problem. This has been going on for over a year now..he visits me for 5 days or so then goes home to his house where the wife and daughter still live to pay all the bills and buy food for them and leave money for the wife so she can buy her cigarettes and beer. He claims he hates it there but still has not separated from his wife to get the divorce process going. this is what he says he wants but he does not want to see them on the street. How can that be when he pays all the bills and would never let his house foreclose? The wife and daughter are permitted to use what money they earn by odd jobs for their habit support. He gets mad when I say I cant live like this. I hated to say its me or them but I did in a text message last night. We have faught over this many times. Now I dont know if I did the right thing. I love him so much and he does me but I hate that he leaves me then goes home to her even though he says they have not had sex in over ten years. She knows hes cheating..where the hell does she think hes been for days at a time? He says they never talk about it and she never asks where hes been and who with. When hes here his daughter texts alot about how bad she and mom are fighting or the garage door wont lock or the kitchen drawer broke! Should I break all ties with him. He is such a great man and I hate to lose him but I guess i am saying I can’t stand his double life anymore. Your advice is very welcome. Thanks!

[kai]

Hi Relayshuns, like i told Sickoverbreakup, MsTye, Danc, NancyPlatt, ChristineK005 and Caroline and a bunch of other people before them who have posted questions in the WELCOME AREA: the Welcome Area [b]IS NOT for questions[/b] and [u]should not[/u] be used to get advice. 😮

[b]it says “DO NOT post your questions” here, when you go to sign up[/b]. 😳

Please [b]repost your question in the Q & A Relationship Advice Forum[/b] if you want to get a response from April.

[b]You will not get a response (from April) to your question if you post it here [/b] 😀

[April Masini]

I always suggest that behavior is what you should look for to determine a person’s character — not what they say. Your boyfriend is clearly committed to his wife and daughter, and for you to expect him to behave differently after all this time is foolish. 😳 He’s got things the way he wants them — sex with you and marriage with her. He isn’t going to change that set up.

What you have to do is to decide if you want to stay in this relationship or not. If what you want is a monogamous relationship, look elsewhere.

Think & Date LIke A Man, is a book I wrote for women who want to get the man of their dreams and keep him — you don’t have yours. You just have him on loan from his wife now and then. Read the book! You can download it here: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url] or order it on Amazon.com or the website for Barnes & Noble.

I hope that helps. See you on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001113133958 and you can follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter.

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