Mixed signals from a girl I’m dating. Affectionate during dates, but distant at the end when we’re saying goodbye.

[mchapman]

I have a friend I’ve known for 2 years. This past August, we went on 4-5 dates. Nothing came of it. I tried to escalate physically, but she wasn’t receptive. The mood at the end of our dates didn’t afford any kissing so I figured she wasn’t interested and decided to move on. We were both busy with new jobs and didn’t talk much for 6 weeks after that.

Two weeks ago, I reached out and asked her to hang out. She agreed and told me she was free in a few days. The day before we were to meet, she texts and asks, “should we watch a movie at your place?” When we dated before, she was hesitant to come over to my place so I thought she was more interested now. I had family at my place so we decided to see a movie at the theater. It was a Wednesday 10pm show so we were alone in the theater. We got close, started kissing, her hands were under my shirt and my hands were in her pants grabbing her butt. The movie ends and I take her home. She didn’t want to do anything more as the mood had passed us, but she grabs me and gives me a kiss with her hand on my face.

Our next date was two days ago. Similar to the first date where she’s close during the date, but distant afterwards. We went out to dinner, she holds my hand while we’re walking and puts her hand on my leg during dinner. However, during dinner she tells me she’s [u]opting out of cuffing season[/u] which is basically telling me she doesn’t want a relationship. Also, at the end of our date she does not want to move further. When I drop her off, she grabs me for a hug and kisses me briefly.

Confused from mixed signals.

[April Masini]

Since it’s only been two dates, (this round), it’s too soon to read too much into mixed signals — especially since you’re not really getting any [i]terrible[/i] signals in the mix. If you got mixed signals for six or more dates in a row, or for three months of dating, then I’d say to play the field and don’t put too much effort into this, but since it’s really just two dates and you’re getting good as well as mediocre signals, I’d give it some time and a few more dates! If you continue to get mixed signals then move on, but with time, and getting to know each other better, you may not get so many mixed signals because she may get to realize how much she likes you. 😉 People don’t always click right away, and mixed signals early on, aren’t a sign of failure. They’re normal.

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