mixed signals not sure what to do

[axs1005]

Hi,
9 weeks ago I met a guy on my masters course. We went out on dates; it was fun. He made it clear he wanted to be in a relationship with me very early on, 2 dates in in fact. He introduced me to his parents 3 weeks in. He has said to me sexually I am not his type but likes me for me. this has confused me as throughout our 10 week interaction he had been the one to initiate sex each time.

However I was hesitant to get into a relationship with him, based on what he has said in his past relationships. He would be in a relationship for 5 years, 2 weeks later within breaking up will have another girlfriend. Repeat. Essentially he has not been single for more than a few weeks between girlfriends in the last 10 years. Therefore I have said to hold things off between us so continue on our dates , but no strings attached.

However I am now interested in him. I mentioned this to him and he said these following points:

1) He is not sexually attracted to me. But loves me; sees a future with me.
2) But does not want to have a relationship with me now.
3) wants to be friends with benefits (which i stupidly agreed to in the moment)

I replied saying the comments about not being sexually attractive is hurtful. and that he should not have pursued me. However I am still very much interested in him, and I am not sure what the next step should be in voicing my concern.

It has been 1 week since the discussion.

He has contacted me on phone/email but I have ignored him, but i do want to address this issue.

Your help/suggestions would lift a weight of my shoulders.

[April Masini]

Figure out what YOU want in a relationship . 🙂 You’ve only been dating this guy for 10 weeks — and already he’s said he’s told you he’s not sexually attracted to you 😯 (who says that to someone they’re dating?!) but has sex with you anyway. He introduced you to his parents at only three weeks into dating. 😯 That’s way too soon! And you’ve found out he’s a serial monogamist who rarely goes two weeks without a girlfriend between relationships. Now, you’re relegated to a friends with benefits relationship…. not sure what MIXED signals you’re getting because from here it sounds like you’re getting signals that he’s not that into you. 😕 Here’s where YOU come into play. 😉 If you want a date a guy who tells you all this stuff and is a serial dater, you’ve got your guy! 🙄 But… it really sounds like you don’t want to be a friend with benefits, and you don’t want a serial monogamist, and you do want to feel that your partner finds you sexually attractive, which is why I think you should let go of this person who’s not compatible with your relationship goals, and move on. 😉

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