[al2016]

My ex-husband and I have been divorced for about 10 years and have two older teens together. I have full custody. It took me a long time to get past that pain. We still talk on a regular basis but he and the kids don’t. We used to live in WA and loved the environment and people but after the divorce my ex left and I went back to our home to be near both of our extended families. I recently graduated and have had trouble finding a career. The kids are honor students and love their high school but I worry about their future opportunities because of our location. My ex-husband wants to relocate us all back to WA. I should have better career opportunities but I am not sure that I want to live with him again. My kids don’t mind moving but do not want to live with their dad again, yet I can’t afford to move or get a home for us until I get employed. I want to earn a good wage so I can provide better but I don’t want to leave our family here nor go backwards in relationship with my ex. I am afraid if I stay nothing will improve but if I go I have nobody to lean in emergency’s. I do have many friends in WA but I wouldn’t want to burden them. When I tell myself I am going to stay I feel like I am not living my life to the fullest but when I think about going I can’t imagine being away from the people I love. My siblings support me but say they don’t want me to move back in with my ex. Yet, I have no capital to make a change so I would have to depend on him. My friends say that this would be an opportunity for the kids and their father to mend their relationship.

[April Masini]

Stay put. Your kids are doing well in school, and that should be your priority.

If you are having career and financial issues, then you should address those, but don’t look to your ex-husband to be your bank. Lots of people have money problems, so if you want to be specific about what you want and what you need, maybe I can help you with those. But it’s not a good idea to get back with an ex who doesn’t see your kids (who are doing well where they are), simply because you’re short of cash.

Let me know if you have any other questions. 🙂

[Author]

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