[lovesick]

April, can you help? While at a party recently, my best friend’s girlfriend came onto me and wanted to kiss me. The temptation proved too much, purely because I have always liked her. She has never been appreciated by my best friend and I have always felt that this is wrong. We had some beers, as you do at a party, and my friend passed out. She then stared at me and beckoned me to kiss her. Why did she do this? Was it because she had some drinks in her, or do you think there is something more to it? My guilt since, has consumed me, because I’m married and my best friend is so wonderful. I have been in a loveless, sexless marriage for the past six years, but this girl just blows my mind! Do you think she feels the same? I’m very confused.

[April Masini]

It doesn’t really matter if your best friend’s girlfriend thinks you’re wonderful or not. You’re married. You have a bigger problem: You made out with a woman at a party.

Oh, wait — that’s your [b]first[/b] problem. Problem number 2: You made out with [i]your best friend’s girlfriend! [/i] 😮

The question you should be asking me isn’t, “Does your best friend’s girlfriend reciprocate your feelings that she’s wonderful, since she kissed you at a boozy party?”. Your question should be: ‘Why am I in a, as you describe it, “sexless marriage for the last six years”?’

Unless you decide to stay in your marriage or get out, you’re going to find yourself in more and more of these complicated and drama-infused situations where people are going to get hurt. So before you do anything, decide if you want to stay in or leave your marriage.

If you do decide to stay in it, you’re going to have to do some work to get your sex life back on track. This is possible. Every marriage goes through ups and downs, but when people are lazy, they don’t do the work to get it back on track. I’ve written a book in response to people who want to put sex back in the bedroom. You might love this book if you decide to make your own marriage work. It’s called Romantic Date Ideas. You can purchase it online at this link: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/romantic-date-ideas.html[/url]

The book downloads automatically and you can start reading and planning tonight’s romantic interlude today! 😉

Don’t fool yourself into thinking that this six year dry spell is going to get cleared up in one night or one week. In fact, there are probably underlying reasons apart from apathy that have kept both you and your wife together. So be prepared to roll up your sleeves and work at your relationship to save your marriage.

If, however, you’re [b]not[/b] interested in saving your marriage, then you owe it to yourself, your wife, your children ❓, and your friends and future, potential girlfriends, to get divorced. Don’t stay in the marriage and cheat. For starters, you’re lousy at cheating — your best friend’s drunk girlfriend at a public party is a a cry for help! 😕 And besides, you’re going to get waaaaaayyyy more confused than you are now if you continue on the path you’re on now, so make a decision. The anxiety will become exponential if you don’t.

Figure it out, and I’m here if you need me to guide you in this decision.

And, oh — in the meantime, be honest with your best friend about what happened. He’s going to find out what happened from his girlfriend, someone who saw you two, or someone she told, and the best way for him to find out is for you to come clean and apologize, admit your mistake, tell him why you did it (you’re confused about your own marriage), and ask for his forgiveness. You may not get it and that’s the price you pay, but if he’s truly your best friend, you owe it to him to fess up.

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