My bf of 6 years cheated on me

[Jlavoie]

My boyfriend recently cheated on me about 2 months ago. We were living together and we work together in the same office. He told me he was going out with coworkers one night, it became very late and I sent him several messages and called him many times but no response until about 2 am when he texted me to tell me he went out on a date with a girl from work who he hooked up with and would be staying at his parents house. He came by the next day to move his stuff out of the condo. When I asked if we were going to work on things he said no that he was better off without me. He dated that girl for about a week- when he reached out to me to tell me that he missed me and he made the biggest mistake of his life. At this point I had already told my parents in which they were infuriated. My mom at the time had told me to block his number and never speak to him again. Every time I bring him up they are super negative and don’t even want to talk about him. Just recently I reconnected with my ex but am very nervous about ruining my relationship with my parents over him. They did a lot for him and he disappointed them time and time again and this was just the final straw for them. What do you think I should do? Should I end things with my ex even though I miss him or should I ask my parents to be open minded about allowing him to prove himself with time?

[April Masini]

It sounds like this is about you and your ex AND you and your parents. As far as your ex goes, you want to connect with him in spite of all that went wrong, and because it was a long term relationship, I think you should. People make mistakes and he behaved badly, but if this was an isolated incident, or if there was more to the story than you’re telling me, or if there was some part you played in this incident that you may not have realized yet, it will be good for both of you to talk. Relationships overcome infidelity all the time, and it’s rarely just about one person behaving badly — although it could be! So, yes, I think you should talk to him and discuss what happened, why, and if there’s a reason to get back together again or not. Just because he made an impulsive decision doesn’t mean you should, too.

As for your parents, understand that you’re all forging a new part of your adult child/parent relationship. They want you to be safe and happy and to not be hurt, or to put yourself in harm’s way. They’re angry at your boyfriend for hurting you and they see him as the problem. You have the difficult and necessary job of explaining how much you love them for caring, and how much you want them to know that you are going to do your very best to make smart choices in life, but that you need to discuss this transgression with your boyfriend and make your own decisions and that you hope that they will be understanding and supportive because you need them — even when you both disagree.

[Author]

Posts