my bf will only make love if I ask him. He never tries!

[Mayvus]

I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now. We moved in 6 months ago. Ever since we moved in he has never initiated sex! I have been the one to always ask him to make love to me. Before we moved in together we used to have sex at least once a week. Now we could go three weeks and then I cannot take it anymore and pretty much have to attack him. I have always heard that it is healthy to talk to your lover about issues and try to solve them. I have asked him several times what the issue is. I have been given three different excuses. The first time it was that he was using this medication to stop smoking and that made his sex drive pretty much nothing. He has not been on this medication for at least 4 months now! The second was that he has never been that into sex. Even with his other relationships. Why did this all of a sudden stop if we used to have sex when we did not live together?!
The third was that we work such different schedules and he is usually randy in the middle of the night while I am sleeping (I am 6-3 mon-fri and he is a waiter and is usually up until I get up in the morning) When he gave me that excuse I told him to come into my room and wake me up! He said “ohh I didn’t think about that. ok!”. Still nothing!!
I do not want to seem like I am nagging because I ask him at least once every two weeks and I feel like I could talk until I am blue in the face. I am getting no where!!
I have asked him several times if there is something that I could do for him. He says no!
I feel like he either is not attracted to me anymore or that I just pretty much suck in bed.
I love him but I do not want to possibly marry someone who does not care about my needs.
I do not think that it is fair to be sexually frustrated when I have a boyfriend that I try to be sexual with!
Ohh and I do have a vibrator! It is just not what I am looking for! I want to BE with my boyfriend that I love!
I need help! What should I do?

[babygibbs]

hey im not sure what to tell you but i have sorta the same problem.
my boyfriend and i have been together for five months and live togeher i am always the one to ask to have sex he never does and when i asked him about it he just said we have sex all the time and i was like then why am i always the one to ask cant you ask me sometimes you act like you dont want to like its a chore or something and he tells me that he just aint into it as much as i am. he assures me all the time that he loves me and he loves having sex with me and that i have nothin to worry about although we do have sex everynight. i dont know if my story will help you but i thought i would share

[ThinkingRight]

Maybe he is stressed out due to money or work issues? This can kill a guys libido. If this is the cause, it’s unlikely return until the problem eases and if this is the cause more pressure from you isn’t helping.

On the other hand, definitely do not marry a man you’re not sexually compatible with, you’ll only end up cheating and then divorcing.

I suggest you move out and see if your sex life with him returns. If not, start dating other people and find someone your more compatible with.

[April Masini]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉

I am here to help, and happy to answer any questions you have. 😀

[Author]

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