My Immature Girlfriend

[Yuri]

Hi April, me and my gf are together for 4yrs&2mos. We live in the Philippines. Last Oct 31, she went to Canada. Her mom petitioned her, her sisters & her dad to live there. She’s still not finished w/ her studies here That’s why she’ll come back by 1stweek of May2017. The problem is, since we began a LDR.. I noticed that she changed. She rarely says she misses me. We always end up fighting upon small things & she doubts our relationship. Everytime she doubts me, I’m always the one who tries to fix those issues and assure her that I’ll always do my best for us. After that she’ll be okay and tells me not to cry. Days passed, we fight over a little thing, then suddenly she broughts up her doubts to me EVEN IF IT IS NOT RELATED TO OUR LITTLE FIGHT. Then says that we should break up. She never wants to have mistakes but she makes one & she wants me to fix those. She always wants that I’m the one catching up to her saying sorry and all. She’s sorry but I cant feel the sincerity. Since then, I felt like a lot of things changed between us. We usually chat and videocall every morning and night in her time. We have 13hrs diff in time. I thought that maybe bcos she misses the physical things we do like holdhands, hug, kiss, that’s why she’s being too cold to me coz she can’t feel those things. I cry at night everytime she’s doubting on me. She never learns from her mistakes & never understands me like before. What should I do? I love her so much & I know she loves me too but the things that confuses her makes her not to let me feel that love

Ty,
Yuri

[April Masini]

Long distance relationships are tough — especially when they don’t start out as long distance relationships because you’re used to a certain standard of dating that gets turned upside down when you aren’t in the same area any more. 😳 It’s very difficult to make long distance relationships work because often, one or both people don’t like the absence of dating. They miss having an in town partner, and it sounds like your girlfriend isn’t happy about the distance and is acting out as a result. 😕 I think you need to understand that the distance is taking it’s toll on the relationship. It’s very easy for you to point fingers at her, and for her to point fingers at you — but that’s not productive. You need to step back, get a wider perspective, and understand that it’s not you and it’s not her — it’s the distance that’s the problem. 😕 I know you desperately want this to work, but I think that the distance and the fact that you’re both too young to have jobs that allow you to make enough money to travel and see each other often, makes this relationship and the distance between you, incompatible. 🙁 It’s best to accept this before the two of you take out your frustrations on each other, further. Be happy for what you had, but for now, the distance is too difficult.

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