[relationshipa1]

So exactly 2 weeks ago I met this great guy, we’re alike in so many ways. I have a son and he’s perfectly fine with that. Now since meeting we have hung out a lot, talked a lot, seem pretty comfortable with each other. Yesterday we hung out, I met his Aunt and we got very very drunk and stupid me brought up the questions of “what are we” and he said we’re dating and I said ok but I’m not looking to be with anyone else so is it exclusive and he said “yes” and that I wasn’t wasting my time. Now I know I shouldn’t have brought this question up, especially when we were drunk but … how long do people date before its more than that? Or how long should I wait and see what things are and if he really meant what he said or if I am just a girl to chill with for the moment. I mean do you bring someone to meet your Aunt and spend the day with her and her boyfriend if you didn’t see this going somewhere.

Then his best friend (who is a girl) hit him up to see what he was up to and see if he wanted to stop over and party with her boyfriend and others. When he said he was with someone, she said “oh Tabitha?” … which is not me. And he said no and he explained. And then he told me Tabitha was a girl he was talking to before we met. So ok fine, I understand that but why wouldn’t you have told your best friend you met someone else and this and that. So am I not even good enough to brag about to a friend, let alone your best friend that you talk to all the time. So is that also a hint that in his mind he doesn’t see this really going anywhere …

Today I sort of let him start conversation, hes working so he did text me a bit but it just seems like today conversation isn’t there and I start over analyzing like maybe I screwed everything up …

(Background: we’re both 25, I have a 1.5 year old and got out of a 2.5 year relationship. I have always had long relationships, he said his longest was 10 months and it was about 3 or so years ago and then he’s been in some very short relationships so I don’t want to rush him to committ but I also don’t want to waste my time or assume its more than maybe it is to him.)

Thoughts?

Thanks! This is the first time I have actually cared this much about doing the right things in a relationship and trying not to be the girl I usually am and just go with the flow but I think wayyy to much.

[April Masini]

Well, I’m glad you want to do things the right way! 😀 Dating as a single parent is different than dating as an adult without children — you have a responsibility to someone else besides yourself to do things right.

The first thing I want you to do is read my book, Think & Date Like A Man, that you can download here: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. You will get exactly the advice you need and you can re-read the chapters that work best for you. It’s a short read, and a cheap buy ($15.95) — and the book sales support this free advice column, so you’re going to be doing good all around! 😆

You need to back off this guy until you read the book. You made one mistake by initiating “the talk” and a second one by having it while you were tipsy and maybe even drunk. The third mistake is not reading him correctly, and I want to help you with that, but until you read Think & Date Like A Man, my advice on that subject may be lost on you — so get reading, and then come right back and we can talk further about your problem. 😀

[Author]

Posts