Newly married but unhappily so

[caseyghatchell]

Just like the way April answers all of the complicated questions that has been publishing in this post. Enjoyed reading this post each and every reply. Life is very complicated and the answers I read from here will surely inspire me to make this easier out of those complicated thinking.

[April Masini]

Thank you! 🙂

[caseyghatchell]

[quote=”April Masini”]Thank you! 🙂[/quote]

You’re most welcome.

[April Masini]

Have a great day!

[maleb1]

Hi April,

My husband has arranged a meeting for my family and his to meet to discuss our problems. He now wants me to come back home.

In the sevenths months that I stayed away I really enjoyed my freedom and I sm no longer sure if I can still carry all the responsibilities that comes with being a wife, step mom and grand stepmom and a daughter in law.

I am now enjoying the time I get of spending time with my son’s daughter. Before I left his house, it was just him,myself and his 11 year old son. Since I left, his 24 year old daughter came to stay with them with her 4 year old son. And his first daughter made it clear that she doesnt love me but she doesn’t stay with them.

My husband is now showering me with gifts and doing all the nice things that I was complaing about while I was in his house.

I am not comfortable with the arrangement of going back and join him with all his kids. What do I do? And I am not sure if he will not go back to his old ways of not treating me well. (Keeping secrets and gossiping about me with his kids). When I ask him why did he let me go to start with he says he also doenst understand how.

[April Masini]

It’s a good step for him to realize that he made a mistake and misses you. I know it’s difficult to forgive him for letting you go and you may not be ready to do so, but understanding why he did what he did, and whether he has had any growth, is growth for you as well. 😉 Don’t rush yourself, but know that you both have personal timelines for processing life and it’s twists and turns. Now that he says he wants you back, and is giving you gifts to woo you, don’t spurn him, but do be clear with him, about what you believe happened in your marriage and why. Next, decide if you want to reunite with him and try and make the marriage work. If you do, know your deal breakers. I suggest you not go to live with him if his adult daughter and her child are still there. There’s no reason for her to be living with her father, as she’s an adult. Minor children should be living with parents, but adult children shouldn’t, as a rule. If he’s able to create this safe space for your marriage, great, and if not, it’s not going to work and you now have the experience to know that. Use it.

I hope that helps. Let me know if you have any other questions.

[maleb1]

Exhaling.. Thank you very much April. I now see the light in all the confusion I had. At least tonite I can see some sleep. Keep well and thank you again. 🙂

[April Masini]

You’re very welcome.

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