April Masini Relationship Advice Forum Relationship Advice Forum Not attracted to him but really afraid of hurting him, help

Not attracted to him but really afraid of hurting him, help

April Masini Relationship Advice Forum Relationship Advice Forum Not attracted to him but really afraid of hurting him, help

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
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  • #7978
    jasmine11333
    Participant

    Hi,
    Im 16 years old and haven´t had my first kiss.
    So now I met this guy in my new school and we have known each other a few weeks and he asked me on a date so yesterday we went to this really romantic restaurant and had a lovely time. We talked for hours and he was flirty and I flirted back a bit because I felt really comfortable with him. Today we ate lunch together and made plans to go on a second date.
    The problem is, no guy has ever treated me as good as he does but I am afraid that I am not attracted to him or would want to get intimate with him. I really, really want to like him because he is so sweet but I feel like I am pushing myself to being attracted to him because I am so stressed about getting into a relationship and having my first kiss.
    And now I don’t know what to do because I want to give it a chance and see if there is a “spark” between us but I have this really strong fear of hurting people. So I don’t know what to do if it wouldn’t work out because I have such a fear of hurting him but I feel like it is wayyyy too late to friendzone him now since we have been flirting and it seems like he has real feelings for me. I can’t imagine how this could end without hurting his feelings. What makes it even worse is that nearly everyone at school knows about us and everyone wants us to be a couple.
    I want to give it a shot because I feel like we actually would be a great couple and he is such a sweet guy but I am really pushing myself to actually being attracted to him and I don’t know how to end it if i am not, help. ://

    Thanks <33

    #35105
    bamisepeters
    Participant

    The feelings you are feeling are normal, those feelings are just the one attached to falling in love and been loved for the first time, you even feel insecure thinking he might leave you at the long run especially when you have allowed him entrance into your body. You are still young though but those feelings are normal and no harm in taking risks as life itself is all about risk.

    #35119
    April Masini
    Keymaster

    I agree. Life is rough! And if you don’t want to hurt someone, then you should never date — in fact, don’t even smile at anyone! 😆 The reality is that people are going to like you and you’re going to disappoint them. And guess what? It will happen in the reverse as well. Love and rejection go hand in hand. You try and you win or lose. But if you don’t try, you don’t get a shot at winning. Nobody likes to reject a person, but it’s much kinder to be honest then to drag something on or disappear because you don’t want to face someone you don’t like. Let them take care of themselves and let them be the ones to decide if they’re okay or not.

    As for this guy, let it play out a little more. It’s very normal for two people to have slightly different feelings at the same time — but if after three or four dates you just aren’t interested in seeing him again, then let him down gently. He will probably be disappointed, but he’s going to find someone else to date. 😉 And…. you may warm up to him if you give yourself the chance. But the point is — give yourself the chance, and see what happens. Life’s a journey. Take it. Don’t sit on the bleachers. 🙂

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