[lastscotlandwolf]

Hi,
My boyfriend of nearly a year wants me to get my nipples pierced for his birthday. I don’t particularly want to, but he’s been asking for it for a while now. What should I do? Tell him no, that’s it’s my body and I’ll do what I want with it because if it doesn’t work out between us (not to say I want it to end, but nothing is certain in this life, and anything can happen) then I’ll have two piercings that I didn’t particularly want in the first place. Or is it okay to do it for him? I guess I’m at odds with myself in that i want to keep my individuality, but I also want to make him happy. I’m just struggling with the idea of changing anything about my outward appearance for him because I feel like I’d be changing too much of myself for him. I’ve been in more than one relationship before where they tried to change me, and not just my outward appearance. Thus telling me that who I am or how I look is not good enough, so this is kind of a tender subject for me. Maybe my hesitation is stemming from a deeper problem within myself that I should address… I’m not sure. But is it okay to change how you look for your significant other, if he’s not trying to change how I act, because that’s not what my current man is trying to do. I’d appreciate any advice. Thank you!

[military_vet5]

i think what you have to do is ask yourself do you love him? if you do are you willing to do something as a sacrifice for that love? if he is not changing who you are internally them he is not trying make you something your not. but most importantly you have to be comfortable in that change. would you be willing to do it. if your not comfortable in doing it i wouldnt. also ask yourself would he be willing to change something that was on the outside of his body. like for an example ask him if you got your nipples pierced would he be willing to get his dick pierced.(itdoesnt matter whether you do or dont want him to do it), but if he is willing to do that for you. if he is not really willing to do it cause he doesnt know he would be comfortable doing it but would be willing to do it for you to make you happy then i say do it. but if he is not then why should you? it is about give and take. if you do decide to do it and dont like it and for some reason do break up, you can always take them out. it is not like its a tattoo that more or less is permenant. plus ask him if you do decide to do it he knows they cant be messed with for quite sometime due to the healing proccess. it is your body so if you love him enough to do it and he is willing to do the same then the give and take aspect is in balance. just stay true to yourself no matter what. i dont know if i was helpful. im not very good with words so i hope you can decifer what i was trying to say!

[April Masini]

Everyone sacrifices for love relationships, but don’t fool yourself. If you make a sacrifice for him — regardless of what it is — YOU’RE the one responsible for doing whatever it is you’re doing, whether it’s moving to a strange city where he wants you to live, to giving up a career to raise children he wants you to raise or piercing your nipples. You have to want to do it yourself for him — and clearly, you don’t. At least not now.

Since you’ve only been dating less than a year, my suggestion is to give him something great for his birthday — like tickets a sporting event he loves — and if you’re still together in a few years, and he still wants you to pierce your nipples (don’t forget that HE may outgrow this taste), you can consider it again at that time.

Every couple has things they do and don’t do for their partners — and whether or not they do them doesn’t mean they do or don’t love that person. You can love someone with all your heart and refuse to eat Italian food because you hate it and he loves it. It doesn’t mean you can’t have a meaningful and life long relationship — it just means you both have to be mature enough to understand that you both will and won’t do certain things in life.

I hope that helps! 🙂

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