Please help!! I am completely clueless as to what’s goin on!

[bella1979]

Erm … I think you’re confused. My best friend is dating his best friend!! No one else is after him except me and if you had read my story correctly you would have seen that he is the one that has initiated all of the sexual events (texts, calls) all started by him so explain to me how I am sexually harrassing him? Again and for the final time, I’m NOT his boss. I am the supervisor on shift but he does not report to me nor do I have any control over his employment with our company. And please do explain … how am I breaking the law!?!

[jonathan]

What caused me to say what I said was the 2nd paragraph of your 1st post and specifically, the 1st sentence in the paragraph. I have copied it below for you to reread. You clearly said, “I just happen to be his boss also”.

When you read this paragraph there leaves no doubt that you were coming on like a freight train. All I can say is that if I did that to one of the girls that works for me, I’d be fired and could be brought up on sexual harassment charges. Granted most guys would never do that because they’d look like a wuss. But there is no question that if I take this paragraph at face value you’re sexually harrasing him because he keeps declining your VERY OVERT sexual advances and you continue to pursue him sexually. He’s probably just trying to be friendly and on good terms with you and you keep taking that as sexual interest. (Just my opinion.) 🙂

Here’s what you wrote:

“I work with a guy who is 10 years my junior and I just happen to be his boss also. We get along well at work and at the Xmas party last year we hooked up and ended up making out in the back of a cab we shared (which he inisited on paying for). I invited him back to my place and he declined but promised me another time for sure. The next day when we spoke about it, he said it would be better if we remained friends as he didn’t want a relationship. I told him that I also wasn’t looking for a relationship and bluntly told him that I was attracted to him and obviously wanted to sleep with him. We continued to flirt here and there and on my birthday, a month later, we all went out and after a few drinks I asked him back to my place. He again declined because he had something important to do early the next morning (which actually turned out to be true as I thought he was blowing me off). We left it at that and on some occassions we would text one another raunchy messages about what we would do to one another when we finally get the chance (texts always initiated by him).”

[April Masini]

[b]Jonathan[/b] said it all and said it all well. I completely agree with him.

You did write very clearly in your first post that you were this guy’s boss, as [b]jonathan[/b] pointed out, and you can see for yourself. Now, saying that you’re his supervisor, as if that makes it better is just more evidence that you’re not getting it.

The age difference is not the big deal here — but the inequity in employment is, coupled with the inequity in sexual experience and the fact that you want to take his virginity, but not have a relationship with him makes this simply predatory. That you’re relying on gossip (he told his best friend who told your best friend who told you — it’s like that kid’s game, whisper down the lane) to convince yourself he likes you when he doesn’t ask you out on a date is more fuel for the fantasy you’re telling yourself.

[b]Jonathan[/b] is right that if the genders were reversed, more people would be up in arms, but the truth is that women can be predators just like men, and that’s what you’re doing.

Back off and find some peace and happiness for yourself with [i]available[/i] men of whatever legal age you choose, that you don’t supervise at work — or who work at a different company and who want to date you, or even have a simply sexual relationship with you, enough so that they initiate the dates. There’s no reason for you to have all this personal agitation when you can just start dating other men. It’s that simple! 🙂

[Anonymous]

Hi it seems like you have posted your question in the “Report” section of the forum. I’m not exactly sure how this happened, but would you please start a New Topic and repost it in the Q & A section? 😉

Here’s the link: http://www.askapril.com/forums/viewforum.php?f=1

[April Masini]

Now, now, [b]tonnywillgram[/b]! It’s a good idea to respect other peoples’ religious choices.

But your input is appreciated!

I hope you’ll join me on AskApril.com on Facebook where you can chime in even more! Here’s that link: [url]Thank you for the advice.

I hope you’ll join me on Facebook. Here’s that link: [url]http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=110265355684755&ref=mf[/url]. 🙂

[Author]

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