[maverick]

Hello, I need to know if I can save my relationship. So here goes. About a year ago we started hanging out as friends as she was dating a friend of mine. They started having problems and she started asking me what and how to deal with the situation. Which I tried to be very helpful to both her and my buddy. The problem with them was she has kids at home and he was not interested in moving to the next level and she became interested in me. So after consideration of the situation I decided to go with it. She seemed like a great person and I still think she is. So here are where all my mistakes start. She was seperated from her husband for 2yrs when I started dating here I was the third guy she had dated since the seperation. So in my mind I thought she had dealt with all of the emotions that come with a divorce. But, I am getting ahead of my self. After we started dating we and more to the point after we became intimate we started talking about what are turn ons and offs where. One of mine was I was interested in having and taking intimate photos of her and or us. Which I had never had with my exwife or any girlfriends before. She was open to the idea because she had some with her ex. I ask if i could see them see said she wasn’t sure where they were and so on. As the relationship grew and I really started loving her the more I wanted pics of her. My work is seasonal and it takes me on the road. So I ask about the pics a few times but she never knew where they were so she said. We went out one night and drank a little more than needed. When we got back to her place we had an amazing love making session. Then we kind of fell a sleep. But I woke up and in my drunk state decided that I could get my pics. So I went and (by the way this is not bragging or anything like it I am not proud of this just being honesty) got my camera out of my truck. Then went in and took pics of her while she was sleeping. I was not going to show them to anybody they were for me. After I had taken them she woke up I was in the living room and heard her coming down the hall so I hide the camera real quick. We both have a stupid habbit so we went out front to smoke after a little while I came in to go to the bathroom and I grabbed the camera to hide it better because it hit me that i had done wrong anyway as I was turning the corner to go to the bath room she ask what I had I said nothing baby. I hide it in the bathroom in the back of the highest shelf in there. We went back out and talked some more then she had to go to the bathroom she was in there a while so I did get worried but when she came out we talked some more. But she didn’t bust me. A few days later when i realized that she had found the cam and taken the sd card out .I was left with nothing to do but confess I told here i was sorry and every thing was ok.Then she started her divorce she was stressing about it I tried to be very understanding and up lifting to her. Since I had been divorced 8 yrs. While the divorce was going on the next to thing happened. Since she was stressing about her divorce and wondering if she was doing the right thing for her children she wanted space from time to time which I gave her. I would go out with friends and such. Well I went to this cafe where we always go. We know all the waiteress and one of them came on to me very very strongly I told her that I was in love with the girl of my dreams and could not. Well I told my girlfriend about it and instead of feeling secure she went the other way with it. She ask if I was interested of course I wasn’t I told her and I was not and still not interested in the other girl. Well I my girlfriend was sick that next weekend and told me to go hang out with a buddy or something which I wanted stay with her but she insisted that she could use the space and all she was going to do was sleep. So I went out and had a beer with a guy friend then the stupid part happened my buddys gf was intoxicated and he had to take her home. So that left me alone I wanted to go back to Lee’s house and check on her but she said she would be sleeping so drove by and all the lights were off so I left her alone. I didnt want to go home just yet since I sleep at her place most of the time I wanted to be cuddled up to her. But didn’t seem like that was gonna happen so I decided to go to the cafe again stupid I know But I thought since I told her that I was not interested that it would be ok. But after I was there 30mins or so she walked by and came on to me again. I didn’t know what to say I just sat there. I dont think in my life a woman had came on to me that hard. So like I said we knew all the servers and I had her phone # and in my mind it seemed like the best way to handle the problem. I texted this girl this (Why do you keep tempting me) I took a couple more drinks of my coke and left and went home thinking nothing more of it. Because I was faithful once again. The next day at Lee’s we were talking and she ask me what I did that night. I told her I had a beer with a guy friend at the bar and that I went home. Yes I told a little white lie because she was already stressing about the divorce and her reaction to me telling her that the other girl came on to me was not a good one I decided to omit that from the story. Well she went in and saw my phone on her dresser or somewhere in the house. and she checked it and saw that i had texted the other girl. cam back out and confronted me about it. So I was busted in a white lie and I say white lie because even at this point I was ready to marry her and no other woman had a chance. But she was very insecure about the hole thing I explained it for 2 or 3 weeks and thing were starting to get better. But stupid doesn’t stop there somewhere in the mist of all this other stuff going on I stumbled upon the other pics that her ex husband had taken I looked at them and put them back over the next few days i asked here about them twice but she didn’t know where they were she said. Then she had to take one of her kids to the dentist and she left me there that morning. I wanted those pics but I didnt want to hurt her so it came to mind that I could take them to one of those photo copiers and make copies which i did just for me not anybody else yes I know I am a jerk and was wrong. But I do love her with all my heart. Well in the mist of the waitress thing lee decided to go thru my truck and found one of the picks. She confronted me and was very angry and yes i was defensive she told me to leave and i did in about 30 mins she was at my house asking if she could go thru my truck again I said sure I had 4 pics but the one she found was the only one in the truck. No I didn’t want her to know that I had more pics but she found the reciept under my seat and she knew how many I had and I went and got them for her she cooled down after a couple of days but wasn’t sure if we should be together she went back and forth. When she didn’t want me around I wondered what she was doing and tried to spy on her but she always caught me. So I got in trouble for that. She didn’t want me around but she did because she Loves me and I love her.But she wanted to do her own thing and we were broke up. We were still intmate and hung out some but she wanted her on space and to be able to hang out with who ever she wanted and she hung out with another guy a couple of nights which she let him kiss her the second time but both time she was wishing she was with me and came to me and we made love. then she hung out with her ex boyfriend to nights which was a real good friend of mine at one point. But, she said nothing happened and he did also. But she would pull me close and then push me away back and forth. Then on a friday night we hung out and even made love that night. but she sent me on my way early sat. morning I called her several times she answered once and only talked for a few seconds I went by her house late after noon she wasnt there she lives close to a park and her son came running up and said she was at the park. So I went down to the park and said hi but couldn’t really talk to her because her 12 yr old daughter was hanging on her arm. So she headed home and I ask her if I could come up and visit for a little while. Her reply was I don’t think so. I was feeling so rejected and depressed so i went to the bar that night and low and behold there was my former girl friend from about a year ago and it was her birthday weekend I said hi had a beer with her and her friend and said bye i was going to a different bar. well in about a hour she showed up at the other bar. Well I was hitting the booze pretty hard and know I wasn’t hanging with the ex gf I was mostly minding my own buss. Then her friend came up and ask me if I could take the birthday girl home she was fixen to have to leave. So I said yes I can do that. Well at closing time we went to leave and I found out that her boyfriend had flaked out on her that weekend. So we were talking and she had forgot her keys so we had to break in thur a window. So I got her in and we stepped to each other and between the depression and the pain of rejection and being a little on the drunk side and lee hanging out with those other two guys and not really knowing what happened I said what the hell. Now remember me and my girlfriend are broke up. But then the next day when I talk to her she ask me what happened the night before I was hesitant to tell her but with alittle probing I told her one piece at a time. I went home alone that night but the next 2 nights I was at lee’s we didn’t have sex those nights but then the next 3 or 4 nights we made love like there was no tomorrow. With the only change being I was wearing a condom. Now thats been a couple of months ago and we still talk everyday and still up till my job put me on the road made love pretty often. But now she is hanging out with another guy while I am gone She says she dont think she can get past the fact that I slept with another girl.Is there any type of chance for this to work out even if I have to let her date another guy for a while I know this guy and He’s a player he won’t fullfill her needs and it will end but to this point she hasn’t sleep with him unless it was last night. If I am strong enuff to handle the fact that she may have been with some one else which would be pretty hipacritcal of me to hold it against her sense I am asking here to forgive me. Do I have a chance in this mess. Even if I have to wait for here next romance to end.
PS. I have done alot of things wrong and I am regretful. I love her with all my heart and if we can get another chance I won’t make the same mistakes again she is the love of my life.

[April Masini]

Yes, you do have a chance with your ex-girlfriend, but my advice is to back off while she’s dating this other guy, and let that relationship run it’s course. If he is the wrong guy for her, as you suspect, then when she’s done with him, you’ll have a chance to try again with her.

What you really need to avoid is complicating things. It seems like your past with this woman is full of complications between her not being divorced yet, her former boyfriend being your good friend, not being truthful and stealing her photos, and leaving a waitress’s phone number on her dresser by accident. Try and live a simpler life, and you’ll have a better shot a committed relationship with her.

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