Really thrown off here?

[macyn.taylor]

Ok. This isn’t the first time he’s done it.
We’ve been “dating” since July. He takes me out once a week to eat, and he always pays. I go to his place we fool around. We didn’t even kiss til September so he seems to like to take things slow. We also work together (a – part time job in retail until we finish college – kind of job). He’s introduced me to his family and friends. BUT we’ve NEVER determined the “relationship”. A few months ago he texted me canceling our “date” because he got sick. I told him to feel better and he texted back: “Thanks Bud! 🙂” And this month his birthday rolled around and I text him: “Happy Birthday 🙂” and he replies back “Thanks bud!” He doesn’t ever call me anything else (ex. baby, hun, etc.). And I’m fine with that, I’ve never been a fan of those cliche names. BUT I’ve never told him that so he’s not using bud to make me happy.
I’m not too worried because I think I’m just overthinking what this could mean.
What does this whole “BUD” thing mean?

[jdawg]

I think it could be two things. 1 he is playing the game (too well) and that he is waiting for you to determine the relationship. He is waiting for you to come forward and discuss where you two are going. He is not investing too much because he doesnt want to seem clingy or that hes too interested. Guys and girls both do this occasionally, i believe in order to keep the other one guessing.

2. For 6 months to have passed and hes still calling you “bud” thats a bit strange. If hes not doing it because of the above, then maybe he just wants to be friends? Are you sure he hasnt got a girlfriend? Just because you’ve met his fam and friends doesnt mean that he doesnt. Sorry if I sound harsh, its just better you find out what the deal is. I have a gf and the girls i am friends with i call “bud”. I would never call my gf “bud”.

But for 6 months to pass and you arent sure you’re going out, i think hes just taking you for a ride. If he really liked you, was really into you and wanted more than just ‘fooling around’, surely you would know by now. Hence why i say he seems to be playing the game too well. Ever thought he may just be paying for your meals to get some fooling around time with you? Guys can be manipulative too. You are not overthinking, youve done well to make it this far without overthinking lol. But yeah be sure hes not taking you for a ride until he finds someone hes really into.

Btw, by fooling around, if you mean sleeping together, then you may be what he conciders a fbuddy. If I am right, is that what you want to remain? Because after this long, if i am indeed correct (i could be way off) then you will always remain in that category. If his mind isnt made up in 6 months, hes not keen for any progression.

I would ask him straight out, because as far as i am aware, if yas arent going out after this long, chances are he could be taking you for a ride and you are better off letting him go so you can focus on someone who will invest more time in you and who will call you more than just “bud” after you fool around

Just my two bobs worth

[kai]

I notice that you have placed your question in the forum for Guest Writers and Advice Column Contributors.

[b]This is not in the forum where April answers readers questions. [/b]

If you want to get a response from April, please repost your question in the proper forum, the Q & A Advice Forum:
[u]http://www.askapril.com/forums/viewforum.php?f=1[/u]

[April Masini]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉

[Author]

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