[relationshipa1]

Hello,

My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 6 yrs now. About 3 yrs ago, she said she was confused about our relationship since I hadn’t proposed and wanted to take a break to do some soul searching. I was very heart broken but I let her have her space. We ended up getting back together after only a week or so but I always felt like maybe she hooked up with someone else during that time. I asked her shortly after we got back together but she promised she didn’t. So, now 3 yrs have gone by and we are very much in love and our relationship has really grown. I’m at the point where I truly am ready to ask her to marry me. Well, that was until I just got a call from her crying! She told me she had to tell me something that has been eating away at her for the past 3 yrs! She wanted to see me and tell me in person but I had to know so I asked to her tell me over the phone. Through the tears she told me that she did hook up with an X boyfriend. She said she had to tell me because she loves me to much to keep it from me any longer. She said she is truly sorry and begged me to not let it change what we have. I feel like someone just ran me over with a truck! I don’t know what to do or how to handle this. I love her so much! Do I forget about it or……… Please help!

[April Masini]

Forgiveness and understanding are your friends right now. Embrace them. 🙂

Your girlfriend did not cheat on you. You basically dumped her after 3 years to do some “soul searching” — whatever that means. It doesn’t matter that you seemed to find your answers a week later, and got back together with her again. [i]During that one week, she was single[/i][i] — because you made her single.[/i] You are just as responsible as she is for the situation you’ve put yourself in.

That she lied to you about sleeping with someone during the week you were broken up is really just a white lie. The reason I forgive this lie is because she doesn’t lie to you normally. There’s no evidence she’s lied to you before. And most importantly, it was none of your business if she slept with someone during that week. You had no right to ask her whether she did or not, and she had no obligation to tell you.

If what you’re looking for now is an excuse not to propose to her after 6 years together, there’s nothing I can say to stop you. I would never advise any woman to stay with a guy for as long as she has without a ring and a wedding date! So consider yourself fortunate and blessed that you still have her.

My advice to you is to man up and understand the position you put her in, and offer your apology for that, and your forgiveness for her white lie to you.

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