[relationshipa1]

I am a 15 year old guy dating a 16 year old girl. The first time I saw her it really wasn’t love at first sight, as a matter of fact I didn’t see myself daring her, but then I spent 9 weeks of school with her and saw the beauty behind the beauty I guess. She is amazing and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, but there is a problem. We want to wait for marriage to have sex, but it sometimes seems like we can’t control ourselves. Noe I know hormones aren’t helping the situation any, actually making it worse. We want to wait for marriage but I don’t think we would make it, and I know sex before marriage just about always ends the relationship. I was just wanting some tips on how we can deal with this, or even if there is an alternative other than sex to satisfy bot of our sexual desires? Help please!

[April Masini]

If you want to keep your virginity until marriage it’s a great idea to get some support. There are various groups that will provide that support. Start with your church or your high school guidance counselor as ideas for resources for those support groups.

That said, sex is not what breaks up relationships — but it does complicate them and those complications can very definitely be the sources of break ups.

[Anonymous]

Thanks April, but I have a question, is there any way for us to satisfy eachother’s sexual needs other than sex?

[April Masini]

I’m not sure what you mean by “sex”. Are you talking about sexual intercourse? Or other forms of sexual behavior, too? When I hear you say sex, I assume you mean all forms of sexual behavior, but maybe you don’t. Please clarify and I’ll give you my best answer. 🙂

[Anonymous]

I mean as in sexual intercourse, I there any other way to satisfy our sexual desires other than intercourse?

[April Masini]

There are other ways to have sex that don’t include sexual intercourse, but make no mistake, they’re still sex. Sexual acts are not just the sole act of penetration. There are lots of ways to have sex without intercourse — but they are still sex no matter what anyone (including our former president) says. I thought you didn’t want to have sex before marriage. If what you mean is that you’re willing to have sex, but not intercourse, that’s a different stance. Make sure you’re clear and not kidding yourself about what you want and what you’re doing. 🙂

[katdawg]

Perhaps not going on dates where the two of you are alone. Go on dates that are in public places and where there are always people around. You’re less likely to act on your wild hormones in front others 😯 . Seeing one another behind closed doors and alone is asking for trouble. Also remember that no birth control is 100% effective. A condom can break and pills can be missed or not work. So if you’re not ready or understand what it takes to be a parent then seriously think about whether or not you want to risk making one; it only takes that one time. I watch 16 and pregnant on MTV and it saddens my heart that “kids” your age are letting the hormones control your brain. I was there once. I started when I was 13 and let me tell you I regret it to this day and wish I had waited, seriously. If you think you really love her enough to have sex with her then isn’t it worth the wait? Chances are if you have sex …you’re more than likely not going to remember her name when you’re um…38? 😉

[April Masini]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉

[Author]

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