Sexually confused

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  • #8238
    fireyes9
    Participant

    i’m a white male in my 50’s who is divorced with a high sex drive who loves watching a lot of porn, masterbation, anal play, loves using anal toys, wearing vibrating cockrings, sometimes loves to wear both male and female thongs/g-strings, sometimes loves to wear pantyhose, swallowing my own cum, anything taboo, incest, eating pussy and creampies. In the past have hired most always female escorts with the exception of one time a male escort to experience anal sex with the real thing. I enjoyed it because i had the courage to try something new, tobooish and something erotic. At this time i had already been using anal toys such as a replica of the famous porn star John Holmes penis which was i believe 13″ long and after a lot of practice was able to insert the whole penis right down to the ball shaft and enjoyed every minute of it. Also, twice experienced a transgender playmate this time giving anal. I love exploring my kinky tobooish side and fantasize about it often. Sometimes i see these young girls today that wear very tight yoga spandex pants were you can see she’s wearing a thon or g-string and it’s such a turn on that i fantasize and only fantasize about havimg sex with them. I just love sex and a woman with a great ass. So, i’m a little confused as to what i identify with. I’m i a normal heterosexual male, bi-Curious, bi-sexual, or a male who has subconsciously wishes he was a woman who wants to be a slut. Or am i something else? Please enlighten me as to what this all means. I know one thing for sure is that I don’t get enough sex. Also, one more thing…i also have tried at one time to give another man oral but, could not allow myself to go thru with it to it’s completion. Lately, i have a strong desire to try it again and allow myself to fully complete oral climax as i swallow every drop. Thinking about it is a turn on. Please, respond back as soon as you can. Thanks

    #35682
    April Masini
    Keymaster

    Why not just take the labels off? You’re trying to define your sexuality and that’s limiting you. Just enjoy yourself and don’t name who or what you are. Just be. See what you like and what you don’t like. Make your exploration simpler. When you try to figure out if you’re heterosexual, homosexual, wanting to be a female or not, you get confused? So remove that piece of the process that’s an impediment — labeling. Since you don’t seem to be interested in dating relationships, it really feels like you’re trying to know [i]you [/i]better and you’re doing this by exploring your sexuality. I suggest you continue what you’re doing as long as you’re learning and finding pleasure, but do take a step back to gain some perspective and remove all labels while you’re exploring. This will give you freedom. And the freer you are, the more likely you are to figure out that it’s okay to like what you like and to be yourself. The labels are really just a way to interact with others and they’re quick ways to let people know who you are — and I guess since you’re hiring escorts, you need the labels to some degree, but since this overall process is your self exploration, you don’t need those labels for you to learn about yourself. In fact, they’re holding you back, so let them go.

    I hope that helps.

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