[relationshipa1]

hi

Me and this girl are soul mates. theres only one prob cos she feels for me so much it makes her scared.
we were friends for 5 years both in love with each other but we never told each other,
about 6 months ago she told me she liked me what got together, and its like nothing i have ever experianced. she is truelly amazing in every sense of the word.
we are head over heals in love. its magic its like nothing either of us has ever experianced.
theres only one prob.. she keeps getting scared. shes finished it with me 5 times cos of this.
although she always made up excuses etc.. and then would gradually come back to me with no incuridgment from myself.

the last time for 2 and half months.. she finished with me again last week,
and i couldnt understand why what she was saying didnt make sense.

i sussed it out and emailed her saying i get the feeling you are scared. of getting hurt, that because you love me so much if this doesnt work the amount you will be hurt, i think you make excuses as you just want a reason to run from this rather then facing your fears.. was alot more indepth then that, lol but i woldnt be able to fit it all on here..

i didn’t just pluck this idea from the air.. picked up on certain things she has said each time,
she has mentioned about being scared of this not working and her getting hurt, and that she’s scared of so many things really. and she kept saying i don’t know what to do, like theres a battle between heart and mind.
each time i have not done anything to make her come back.. she kept comming back to me, with no encuridgment, wether i stayed friends. or broke contact.

she replied to my email with..

hi,

when i tell you that i dont want to go for this and dont want to be with you, i dont even need to give u an explanition coz u alredy no wot im thinking. I no because i dont want to be with you, that now you will stop talkin 2 me again. so look after yourself and i hope you find someone who can make you realy happy coz u deserve it.

Love Emma

what do i do now, do i just break all contact.. do i try to go back to being friends. do i stay in the background and hope she comes to her sense’s??

i really dont know what to do for the best.. usually i would just say right dont want to know,
as you dont need somone mucking you about like that, but we are so perfect together, and the feelings we have are the strongest i have ever known..and considering we both feel for each other the way we do it would be a shame to let what we have go to waste cos of some issues she has got, but i realise there maybe nothing i can do.

any advice would be greatly appreciated

Cheers

Andrew

[Anonymous]

more info….

after speaking with her yesturday found out this all happened due to her wanting to be with me, and because she loves me she was trying to have a relastionship with me, but she hadn’t fully adjusted from splitting with her ex was to soon, but she didnt want to miss her chance with me, and couldnt fight what she was feeling either,

hence the battle between heart and mind,

because of her mucking me about it effected me slightly in the way i acted to which wouldnt have helped.
we have both agreed it’s a case of right people, wrong time..
we both apolagised in our parts of the situation, and chatted friendly and bubbly enough.
we both said we arnt planning on dating anyone for a while as we both need to sort our heads out.
i have mentioned the door is slightly open so when we get our heads straight who knows?

so do i just not talk to her now… which gives her time to get her head straight and stops us slipping into total friendship,
do i have minimal contact, do i just be friend with her for now,

as i want there two be a chance for us, when she is ready, but at the same time i know i have to get on with my life just in case that dont happen, but at same time i dont want to do anything which provokes her into getting back with me for the wrong reason, or before she is ready..

Cheers

[April Masini]

While you say you’re perfect for each other, you’re not looking at things from her point of view. [i]She[/i] doesn’t feel you’re perfect together, and she keeps breaking up with you. In fact, she’s broken up with you five times in the six months you’ve been dating! 😮 That should give you a clue that she doesn’t want a relationship with you. She may keep coming back – but she keeps breaking up, too! So while it’s fine for you to have your own feelings about her and the relationship, you have to be realistic. If one person isn’t interested in showing up, there just isn’t going to be a future together.

The reason she keeps breaking up with you, that she loves you too much, doesn’t make any sense and rather than try and figure out what’s really in her head, which is impossible to do anyway, my suggestion is to pay attention to her actions and understand that this relationship is over, and if you’re smart, you’ll move on. The monthly breaking up and reuniting means your relationship is more drama than getting to know each other, and that’s no good! 😳

It’s not a good idea for you to try to be friends with her right now because you’re too invested emotionally in this relationship. You’ll never be able to heal if you see her as a friend, so say goodbye and move on. You WILL be able to find someone who wants to be with you without breaking up with you monthly. It’s just not this woman.

[Author]

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