Should I ask him out?

[snowbird478]

So, there is this really sweet guy (just what I’ve been looking for) and I really like him. I run cross country for my college and he’s kind of one of our coaches, but he’s hardly ever there, so I wouldn’t really call him our coach. Anyway, he broke up with this girl that he’d been really into for a good year or so, but only dated for maybe 5 months. It turns out she was just using him and cheating on him. That was about 3 weeks ago. Anyway, he drove me and a few of my teammates down to a meet in Arizona (part of a school trip) and we got him to talk about what was going on with his “love life” (this was before he started dating her). He said that he really liked her but she was still dating her boyfriend of 3 years. So, we asked him, “why don’t you just find someone else? Don’t wait around for her!” He said that he didn’t know who to date, he couldn’t find anyone! After all of this, he finally ended up dating her and all of his friends said while he was with her he just wasn’t himself, he was very moody and upset. So, I REALLY like him and I’m not sure if I should ask him out, or wait some more, or drop a few hints?! We talk sometimes, but nothing more than seeing him at a few parties or practice.

P.S: He is about 4 years older than me. Also, I really don’t date all that often, and am just looking for a guy like this, so it is rare for me to like a guy this much

[carac]

Hi snowbird,

It’s funny. I posted a similar question on this website also. I also like someone and he seems to have all the qualities (not just looks) I am looking for in a man. In my case, I don’t know the guy I like as much as you know this guy you are interested in. I never received a reply to my situation, so I felt I should reply to your question to give you some advice.
I know I have been so tempted to ask out the guy I know, so I know EXACTLY how you feel. I hear so much about the “dating rules” and it makes me hesitant to ask out a man. “The Rules” state that a woman should never approach a man, nor ask a man out. I feel that it should depend on the situation. If the guy is an attractive, conceited, obnoxious guy who would knock down a woman, then I believe the woman should not ask the man out. BUT, if it is a nice, shy man like the guy you like, then I believe sometimes the woman needs to take the initiative and ask him out. What do you have to lose? He might say no, BUT he may be interested in you, but he may be afraid to be shot down by you. I have been told by several men, that men have a fear of rejection. I believe this to be true of nice guys, who are genuine and good people.

In your situation, at least you have gotten to know this man, and you know he is a good person. In my situation, the guy I like also is getting over someone. Its tough though, because both him and her are members of my gym, and I see what is going on between them. This girl is stringing this guy along, but doesn’t want to be with him.

I say GO FOR IT! Ask him out, and help him get out of this situation with this other girl who is playing games with him. I do not like people who play games. These type of people hold people back from meeting other people who are really interested in them.

I hope my advice has helped you….Good Luck!!

Cara

[js1585]

Hey,
thought i’d give your post a reply, in the past iv asked guys out and in a perfect situation like the post before me said you could ask out this person that you really like. Though in this situation I’d be far more inclined to be extremely carely and subtle about liking him. Like you said he is your coach and if he isnt interested then you still have to see him when he come to coach it could be awkward. Also he has just had a major break up where although he proabably will resent his ex-gf for cheating on him that still doesnt take away the strong feelings he has for her, and you don’t want to end up being used as the rebound girl.
I think with your coach you should take baby steps, just have one on one conversations see what you have in common make eye contact, see if you get the right signals. Does he coach anywher else? perhaps you could offer to coach with him and so you could spend more time with him. Doing more stuff with him one on one will show you how much you like, and you’ll get to know him more and more. Then if you think your getting the right signals and its practically a sure thing, go for it! Guys like a bold girl and they often take a while to realise they like someone and to get the courage to ask them out.

Hope this helps 🙂

[snowbird478]

Well thank you guys so much for replying! I decided to ask him out and now we’re a couple! Thank you!

[April Masini]

How are things going?

[Author]

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