Should i help my ex or not?

[sunlolly]

My ex broke up with me 4 weeks ago and she told me that she wants to stay friends.
She has a lot of problems with her parents (mental violence) and I think I am the only one she has ever had to talk to about it because I am the only one she knows who have through the same.
I still love her and my friends think i should minimize contact to her (we go to school together so I can’t just stop contacting her). But i feel really sorry for her and i know she needs me and I really want her back
I am 18 and she is 17

[Missladyt_17]

Hi,

I understand your dilemma, but it is better that you remove yourself from her presence for awhile. You cannot solve all of her problems and you being a shoulder to cry on only hurts you because you will be given false hope. Yes, she will lean on you if you are there, but I feel you will be greatly in for a disappointment. There are support groups in which she can join which can provide support for her. You can not save her my friend.

I beg you to back off for awhile to get your emotions in check, maybe after some time has passed you can be friends, but not now. You are really in for a world of hurt if you continue on this path. She will use you, now this may not be her intention, but this is the way it will play out.

Please, please stay away for now and deal with your emotions of the breakup. 🙂

[April Masini]

I have to agree with [b]Missladyt_17[/b]. It’s better if you don’t help out your ex. Here’s why:

1. You’ve broken up. In order to get over the break up, you have to grieve the relationship. You can’t do that if you’re trying to be friends. It doesn’t work. One person has more feelings than the other and the break up drags on and on and creates hurt.

2. You can’t feel single if you’re hanging around with your ex — and you need to feel single in order to find someone else to be with!

3. I know you think she needs you, but it’s not really true. What she needs is to become stronger, [i]herself[/i]. You can’t do the work she needs to do to deal with her family — this is something she needs to do herself. Don’t enable her because you’re going to take away the opportunity for her to solve her own problems, if you do. 😉

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