Should i pursue her?

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  • #8085
    Steven22
    Participant

    Hi April, There is this girl i work with, not in the same office but close, she is very shy and everybody knows that and it is hard to get her to talk, but we had a few talks and started chating online via Facebook, i intiated the first chat but then there were plenty of times she did it, now for the last two weeks we chat 24/7 all the time like we have been a couple for long time, we talk really relaxed and right about everything we send each other hearts and thoose kissy smileys. Now when ever i see her at work she smiles at me but is very shy to intitate contact, and i really dont know what to do, should i pursue her, Because she doesnt have plenty of friedns and she told me how she was in a bad relationship before and i know everything about her. But now i am in dilema maybe she sees me just as a friend or maybe she is just bored because she doesn have many friends and i take her time. Because i told her once to go out and she said she “feels” bad and i know this wasnt the case, and next time i told her there was a good movie in cinema so we should go and she was smiling and changed the topic. Now i had girls before but they were always open when i asked them to meet, but with this one i actually never met outside of work, but we chat and talk all the time online, one day we chatted until 7am and went directly to work. So i really dont know, because i am afraid if i ask her out or something more serious she will fled.What do you suggest me? Thank you

    #35346
    April Masini
    Keymaster

    You have to change the dynamic in the relationship. You’re in the friend zone because you’re treating her more like a friend than a girlfriend. 😉 You have to be the one to act like a boyfriend, not a friend. So ask her out on a date — and if she won’t go, be disappointed, but do move on. If she sees you’re not going to be her friend and are really interested in her as a girlfriend or a date, she can make the choice to be that person or not — but when you’re offering her friendship you’re helping to create the situation you’re in (and don’t want to be in!). Besides, women like men who are popular and successful at dating, and if she sees what she’s missing out on, she may be more interested in you. So, yes — do pursue her — but not as a friend. Be the guy who gets the date, not the friend zone. 😉

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