Should I stay or move on?

[SidneeStone]

I’ve been dating this guy & our chemistry is insane. Very quickly, the he moved in with me.
An issue from the start was, he has a one year old, & I’m 19 & he’s 18. I figured he still had feelings for his ex.
Otherwise, our relationship was incredible. But about a month into it, we started arguing & he would try to leave. Well recently he did pack up & leave, but hasn’t stopped talking to me, tells me he loves me, etc.
Having an accepting heart, we agreed to make our relationship work. But he’s doing some other shady things.
Tonight I went to visit him at work & gave an ultimatum.
He said he left in the first place because his ex asked if they could be together again & he told her “I don’t know.” They confided in each other & she blackmailed him saying if he didn’t leave me, she’d tell me “everything.” So he felt his only option was to leave; I was concerned about this during our relationship.
He swears they haven’t done anything sexual, just texted & he sees her when he’s visiting his kid.
I don’t know if I should believe him. He was sincere & told me he doesn’t want to be with her, she’s crazy & wants only me. I said I can’t handle this anymore, but he asked to talk to me more later & I said “we’ll see.”
I need advice. I know I’m young & probably with the wrong guy. I don’t want to hear how there’s plenty of fish In the sea.
I want an outside opinion, if I should end it or what could be done if we continue. I would like to have opinions on both sides. I’m just lost.

[April Masini]

Slow down. You’re creating way too much drama to have a successful relationship! 😯

First, it was a mistake to allow him to move in with you in the first few weeks of dating. 😕 You really didn’t know each other well enough to move in together. You set the stage for drama by allowing a move in.

Second, you should never give anyone an ultimatum. Besides… why give someone an ultimatum when he’s only been dating you a month? You’re treating the relationship as if it’s a year or more older, but you’re having problems because it’s not.

Third, you’re forcing this relationship to work — instead, relax and get to know each other during the first three months of dating and see if you even want to continue dating each other. 🙂 By forcing a “relationship” title on a new dating situation you’re putting way too much pressure on yourself, him and the relationship.

So, chill. If he asks you out, go on a date and see if you guys get along. But play the field and know he’s doing the same because it’s healthy — not because he’s cheating. You’re only one month in. Use the first three months of dating to decide if you want to keep seeing each other, and the second three months of dating to decide if you want to be monogamous. 😉

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