Before you can be in a relationship, you have to take care of yourself. If you don’t, the work you have [i]not[/i] done on yourself, is going to show up in any relationship you get into. That’s what happened here. You let your own feelings lead your behavior, and you acted in ways that were socially inappropriate. For instance, you crossed a boundary by calling the mother of this woman — when you’ve never even met her, and you have only been dating her daughter for a month. For anyone peering into this relationship, what you did was throw up a red relationship flag that shows that you’ve got boundary issues. It sounds like, in addition, this woman’s losses triggered feelings in you that created an emotional spiral that you were not well able to control. Bottom line: You have some work to do on yourself. If you want to be in a relationship with someone else, you have to take care of you, first.
I don’t think this relationship is something you should focus on right now. You’re not ready. And if you try to, it’s going to blow up worse than it has. For instance, if something in her life triggers you again, you haven’t done the work to deal with that dynamic. So before you get back to dating, you need to take care of your mental health, your physical health and your social health, first and foremost. When you do, and are further along in that process, you can try again — either with this woman or someone else.
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