Since you mentioned in your pre-posting questionnaire that you are 40 and he’s 38, it’s important to note that someone who’s never had a relationship before age 40 is working with a different set of experiences than those of us who have had a few by that age. There are lots of good reasons why people don’t engage in relationships — for instance if they’re focused on a career, they are raising a child, or they want to be financially stable before dating to commit. But if the reason for not being in a relationship is something else — like fear of failure or fear of being hurt, you may be with someone who is not willing to be in a relationship and make a long-term commitment the way you’d like. It’s your job to figure that out. 😉 That’s what the dating process is for — to learn about the person you’ve chosen to spend time with and decide if you have the same goals, are compatible and want to make it work.
You don’t mention what the fight that triggered the cool down in the relationship was about. If it was about a deal breaker for him, he may be backing off. Or if he saw a side of you that scared him, that may be why he’s backing off. I also don’t know how long the two of you have been cooled down since the argument. If it’s been a short amount of time, you may need to heal and you’ll be fine. But if it’s months, you may be in the midst of a tacit breakup without realizing it.
In general, if you’ve been dating for a year or more, and you both have marriage or a long-term commitment as a goal, you should be able to achieve that goal. If you can’t, then it’s time to reassess the relationship you’re in. I hope this helps. Let me know if you have any other questions.
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