[BaibiiDavryn]

So there’s this guy, David, that I dated for three years, a bit on and off.

The first time we broke up, he did it because his close friends had told him to. David is pretty easily influenced. The second time was my call because I wasn’t letting him have the space he wanted, and I thought a break would be good. The third time –

David had ideas about changing the world with his art. And became a bit narcissistic. I frankly was getting very frustrated, but I stuck with him. But he just broke up with me in the fear of the media finding he was dating a minor. I was turning sixteen in five months, and he had not made much progress toward anything big. So after trying to reason with him, I dropped it because it REALLY pissed me off. After, we still hung out, but on less intimate terms. Soon, he wanted sex. And I reminded him that he broke it off. And he said that wasn’t what he wanted to end. And that seriously turned me off from any wanted contact with him. During this time, he made a few friends who didn’t exactly love me in his life – though they had NEVER met me. Never even spoke with me, so it’s pretty nuts. I had also started trying to move on, I had messed with a couple of guys. I didn’t know what I wanted. I was frustrated and confused. But a few months later, I realized I needed something more committing and fessed up to missing David. But out of no where, he stops talking to me. He made a bunch of excuses. That he hated me. That he needed to focus on school. That his family hated me.

Eventually, he said he wanted to change, and that he couldn’t see me. I asked him for a hug goodbye and he gave me one. I let my arms go and he kept holding on for a while, which left me confused. I haven’t seen him in months, and I heard his friends got him really into drinking to get rid of his problems. I’m scared for him and I’m worried about the dreams he had written endless journals off. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to go to him without him wanting me to, even though I think he misses me as much as I miss him. He even kept the presents I had given him in the past years. I want to help him. I want to see him again and tell him there are other ways of dealing with problems. But I don’t know what to do. I’m so lost. I have no idea what to do anymore.

[April Masini]

I’m not sure how old you are right now, but I want to caution you about not dating men when you are a minor. You need to date guys your own age — especially when you’re a teenager. You should not be dating men who are adults. Sorry — but I have to shake a finger at you. 🙁 You can do better than this.

Your ex-boyfriend had no business dating you if he was a legal adult and you were only 15. Having sex with you under those circumstances amounts to criminal acts and he can still be prosecuted and sentenced to one count for each act of sexual relations he had with you. The statue of limitations varies from state to state. Your ex-boyfriend is in big trouble, and he is right to distance himself from you.

I know that’s hard for you to hear, but it’s the truth, and lots of people feel that they are above the law, but laws are there for a reason and that reason is to protect us. If you don’t agree with a law, that’s fine, but you should still obey it. You can get involved in politics if you’re inclined, and try to get laws changed, but until they are, do the right thing!

Here’s what I’d like you to do: I want you to focus on hanging around with your own friends who are in your age group. I want you to have a lot of fun that doesn’t necessarily include sex. When people have sex — especially women — they tend to lose their focus and get involved with people they might not normally hang out with if they weren’t sleeping with them. As you get older, you learn (hopefully! 😉 ) how to filter out the good guys from the bad guys. If you were older, you’d probably see very quickly that this guy is into himself, and isn’t thinking of you. He isn’t putting your best interests first and foremost. He may like you, but it’s not appropriate or legal for him to be dating you.

You also need to talk to your parents about what’s happening in your life. You need their help guiding you towards who you should and shouldn’t date. Parents may not be as cool as teenagers, but sometimes they’re useful. Talk to them about what’s going on in your life. 🙂

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